This morning I woke up and had a full 30 seconds to offer up thanks for the sunshine pouring in the windows and for the coziest, yummy flannel bedding before I heard the unmistakable sound of a dog preparing to puke.
It was Daisy.
I got her as far as the front door before she upchucked a bundle of grass. And that's exactly what it was-- just like a smudge bundle of white sage, all one piece and tightly wrapped, she had eaten -- god knows why-- an entire clump of grass which (surprise surprise) did not want to pass gently through her digestive system.
So I threw her and Henry out the door. Ollie had to remain with me. (Yes, Ollie has been here with us this week-- NEVER off a leash unless he is by himself outdoors).
***Okay-- so I think I began this post about an hour ago-- the phone has been ringing and there have been more throw-up adventures-- sheesh.***
Still? I am in total joy.
The sun is pouring into this apartment and is filling the fields all around us with light. The weather has been unseasonably mild and I absolutely love every minute of that. Lauren came and worked her mojo yet again-- and I have a dreamy new bedroom and closet--- all sorts of enhancements in the studio and office-- and a row of mother-of-pearl buttons across the sofa seat cover that I had been meaning to do for like, months.
I tried to take photos of all the changes and improvements this morning, but the sunlight blasts it all out-- so we'll have to wait for a gray, rainy day for those.
The magic solstice occurred while Lauren was here and we actually managed to do some ritual around it late Tuesday night. I had come back from a holiday party around 9:30 and was buzzed, but took a bath-- replete with bubbles and candlelight-- to try and shift the energies and lo and behold, it worked.
We gathered up in front of the open wood stove to enjoy the fire. We wrote out three things we wanted to release from 2010 and three things we wanted to receive in 2011.
The stuff we wanted to let go of, we wrote on strips, read aloud and then tossed into the fire. The stuff we wanted to receive, we read aloud and then wrote future me emails to ourselves with the good intentions. Then, we each chose a word for 2011 (hers is ALIVE, mine is BEAUTY). I had two big, flat stones I had prepped with white paint (at some point I thought I was gonna make Christmas gifts with them-- painting a word like, peace or joy on them--) and we each painted the word on the stone. She painted mine, I painted hers.
It was awesome-- we woke up Wednesday morning and were all 'I can't believe we did that-- that was so fun'. It was cool and really did energize us to plow through the projects we had waiting for us.
It's funny. One of the things I released for 2010 is the need for isolation-- which feeds into the plan for my city move-- but this apartment which I have always loved deeply-- is now even more dialed in. It's hard to think about leaving it. So, the way it will likely go down (although I am ever in the flow and not trying to control how it is all gonna go down) is that I will be here through June-ish and make the transition next summer-ish.
Where am I headed?
Did anybody guess ---> Providence?
If you did-- ring the bell-- consider yourself a winner. Yes, I had an epiphany as I drove down to spend a couple days with Christine last month. I was about 20 minutes away from her house when it just dropped out of the sky into my head. Seriously-- I wasn't even thinking about moving or anything. I was just driving along trying to pay attention and not miss the exit when BOOM-- I knew to my toes that Providence is where I should be.
Because that 'knowing' had nothing to do with my own thoughts-- I had to percolate on it a bit-- but as I did-- it DID all fall into place with that weird, aha sense of, "of COURSE-- how did I never see this before?"
is five minutes from the ocean
has its own airport
I can jump a train to NYC
small and neighborhoody
I can take art classes at RISD and cooking classes at Johnson & Wales
I can walk everywhere
Great bakeries and restaurants and shopping
Cool, funky, artsy, low-key vibe
I can find an apartment with hardwood floor, high ceilings, fab pantry detailed kitchen because there are TONS of Victorian houses set up with apartments like that
and, I can hang with my friends and their new baby so I am not going to a city where I know no one
of course, it's also only 35 minutes to Boston where I have tons of family and friends (and, let's put this in perspective, shall we? right now, it takes me 35 minutes to get groceries!)
So there you have it-- hold the intention with me, will you?
Because the weather is so gorgeous today-- chances are I will have some photos for you soon-- but you never know-- it is a pain to have a dog on a lead AND try to take photos-- damn you Ollie for being so naughty and untrustworthy-- but thank god you're alive. But, I also have some major hours of knitting to get in today as I try to finish one last gift before tomorrow.
I know, right? Who is this crazy lady with the knitting of prezzies? When did this happen?
Well, so much has changed. So very much.
2010, you were one hell of a ride. I think it will take a few more years for me to get true perspective on just how much my life changed and how profound the transformation was, but it all feels good, true and right.
I feel shaken, stirred, a bit wobbly and need to catch my breath-- but underneath all of that-- I feel truly aligned with myself and with my life as I never have before. So that's good, right?
And, I would be lying if I said I didn't feel some apprehension about what is ahead in the road for me since I truly have no idea. I am flowing with what comes at me, but it isn't easy for me to simply trust and not grip tightly to the side of the raft-- although I am trying to breathe into trust and trust and trust.
I am trying.
Cause the road ahead? From here, it's looking rather pretty.
I do hope you will travel along with me into 2011-- and I am sorry for not being better about responding to comments, but please know I am always amazed when you take the time to share your thoughts with me and I do really cherish them.
May you have a most wonderful holiday and new year-- may there be much sweetness and gentleness throughout your day and may you feel so good about YOU<--!