Sunday, February 6

that'll do, pig-- that'll do

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Yesterday, I was driving to town and passed the most extraordinary image of sunlight pouring through white-icy branches-- it was one of those fairy tale explosions of magical, shimmery sparkle and I shook my head at the fact that, yet again, I did not have my camera with me.

And then, as I continued to drive by I processed the thought series where I told myself even if I had the camera with me, I wouldn't have stopped because I'm all ideas, no action-- always sitting in a puddle of discouragement and inertia.

You know, just one of those nice car chats I like to have with myself.

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And then, this morning-- just because the universe likes to fuck with me-- out my window what have we got but fairy tale splendor of white-icy branches in an impossible contrast to the blue sky.

My camera was inches from my hand.  Did I reach for it?

Nope.  Reached for my coffee.  I had tried for these shots before.  I knew it was a hopeless cause.  The best angle was right from my desk-- but through the screens (which I wasn't about to remove) the shot was lost.  I could try and run out to the snow in my boots and leggings-- but the light would be gone by then-- I'd been through that before, too.

Hmmm, do we detect a certain FATALIST spirit here this morning?

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Sigh.  I'm afraid so.

Nothing that some time and tea and, you know, flipping time-- won't cure, but man I was not in a happy place last night that had everything to do with me, my headspace and not another thing in the world-- and I share that only because I have talked to not less than three people in the past few days who have been struggling with the dark side and so I want to put it out there that we ALL struggle with the dark side.  You are not alone.

You know, just in case you thought you were.  You're not.

So there I am this morning-- a beyond splendorous cinema verite of glistening branches putting on a show fit for Radio City Music Hall and I'm pissing and moaning cause I want to capture it on film and I know it is beyond me.

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And then, in a fit of -- oh FINE, whatever-- I pull on boots and plunge out into the nearly waist-deep snow (I am so not kidding) and with crazy lunges while trying to protect my camera I managed to get sort of, somewhat, under the apple tree to take some shots.

But, as expected-- the shot eluded me.  Simply could not-- the trees danced and shook.  The sun continued to illuminate their sparkling branches and I could. not. get. the shot.

Clearly, the universe was taunting me.

I body-lunge-surfed across the snow back to the porch and climbed the stairs.  At the top, again-- there was the shot-- again through a screened window.  This time, I took the screen down and opened the window.  Again, I could. not. get. the. shot.

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So here I am.  STILL the sun is pouring down onto the branches-- and I am about to take the dogs for a walk but I am leaving the flipping camera behind.  There is only so much frustration I can take for one day. 
It is time to let it go and say-- that'll do pig-- and move on.

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Here's wishing you a fabulous Sunday where you get the shot--
and if you don't, have a big bar of dark chocolate on me.

bisous, E

13 comments:

  1. But ummm ... you got the shots. They're magic. I adore them. I thought, 'how the hell did she do that?'
    I think that's all I have to say. Maybe I have to read your post again.

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  2. These are breath-taking shots, honey - m.a.g.i.c x

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  3. LOVE this post and these beautiful, magical photogaphs! I know this headspace so well, and when I'm there I usually pull this Osho Zen card:
    http://www.osho.com/magazine/tarot/TarotCardNew.cfm?All=Yes&Nr=35
    I think the picture says it all:)

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  4. These shots are stunning. And thank you for reminding me that we all face the darkness. I've been feeling that a bit lately. I definitely need a weekend away with some lovely friends...so glad I only have to wait a few days.

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  5. You are joking, right? you.got.the.shots. i, too, wondered how the hell did she do that? is it a trick I could never learn? beautiful, so starry and magical. oh, and um that dark side? i'm there. just waiting for a few bright lights to descend on NYC to pull me up and out of it.

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  6. holy god-- that osho card image is so disturbing, but true-- you know I am trying, right? you know I AM being really good and kind as I go through this thing-- which is, me being with me-- that is all.

    And THANK you for the love--- your encouragement has me half way out the door with a camera to try again-- xoxooxox Seriously those are REAL XOXOXOXOXO, E

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  7. ummm...you so got the shot. period.

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  8. You...can do ANYTHING apparently. Good job, pig :)

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  9. ok - if these WEREN'T the shots, then the "one that got away"...it woulda killed us all with too-much-beauty. see, there's a reason for everything. these almost make me like winter. now back to my cave.
    xoxLinda

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  10. Well, suffering from the Plato problem you may have been ... but some amazingly awesome pics did you snap. :)

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  11. scamp (aka Shirley)February 6, 2011 at 5:20 PM

    I'm reading through this thinking with every word...Wait, is she channeling ME??? But, hell, woman, you got the shots. You DID get the shots!

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  12. how are these not the shot? they are GORGEOUS!

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  13. I don't think I can say it differently than all of those before me, but holy hell, those are beautiful. You are the queen of the ice photos this winter--THE QUEEN. I look at my feeble icicles out my window and think of yours that have all of the majesty of of diamonds hanging from your roof. And now with the trees? The trees that are adorned with the sun itself, blazing outside your window? I know someone said it before, but it bears repeating: MAGIC. Pure Magic. Fairytale indeed.

    Sending you hugs and hoping the darkness lifts soon. xo.

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thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me-- I love that you stopped by and hope something I shared was what you needed today. xo, e