Thursday, March 17

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I was making breakfast (although "making" sounds a bit more involved than what I was actually doing which was cutting and peeling a grapefruit, an apple and then tossing a handful of roasted, salted almonds over top-- perhaps the word "assembling" might be the better word choice) this morning when I noticed three of my most favorite things all gathered in one place:  sunshine, orange, blue & white.

A photo seemed apropos.

But I wouldn't hold any expectations that anything else in this post will have resonance or reason since I am as floaty as the topping on a Baked Alaska.

One thing about coming home after a week away is that you realize how much work you left behind and how much you would prefer the life of a beach bingo hostess (especially if she gets to go around barefoot with a loose, cotton kaftan over her bikini making witty comments as she refills your glass with sangria).  What does it look like outside my window right this moment you might be aching to know?

Why, it looks like this:

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Oh say it with me now, we LOVE snow!

Snow!  Snow!  Snow!

Just can't get enough of that fluffy white stuff!

Other happy news is the administrative assistant you manifested for me (her name is Carol, btw) is an absolute angel and plowing through the piles (and piles) of backed up work and making me think that maybe (just maybe) I might have all my ducks lined up for this June.  Glory be.

But the funny thing is-- I am not stressing.  In fact, there is a decided lack of pushing, driving-- all that crazed, stress energy of lifetimes past.  Due to the intense burnout I experienced last September, I am still all about the flow, the shift, the letting things take their own sweet time and keeping my priority to rest, nurture, PLAY and bodywork.  Although, I haven't been so great about the bodywork-- but that's mostly due to where I live and the lack of easy local options.

Have I put you to sleep yet?  

I'm sorry.  This is why there has been no posting for lo, these seven days.  But DO check out the current l.o.v.e. list up there on the right-- some SUPER goodies waiting for you.

Two other random bits and then I have to fly.
1.  Many people have had a really tough time of it this winter.  I share this because you might have also found these past few weeks/months to be unusually challenging and I want you to know you are not alone.  SO not alone.  I get a lot of emails from people who are sensitive and beautiful and bright and yet, their hearts are sore and their spirits low.  I trust the amazing soul who sent me the one I am excerpting below won't mind my sharing it with you-- again, if you have had a rough time of it these past few weeks-- you are not alone.  Here's some of what she wrote to me,

"Despite my best efforts many days are difficult for me. I truly struggle in my sadness and lonely feelings. I had been reading your blog and thought how wonderful it is that you have so many amazing friends all over who are there for one another. To have someone to laugh and to cry with, people who can be there, asking nothing in return. People to go places and see things with. I would imagine that having true friends is like having angels wings around you to hold you up and protect you until you are strong enough on your own. Someone who realizes that  you are fragile and just need something even when you're unsure of what that something is. Why I tell you this I don't really know. I guess I just like to imagine what it is like to have friends. To be special. To belong. To be loved. People can say all the pretty words about caring about you and blah, blah, blah but they are just words, no one really cares. I am very alone. I belong nowhere."

The need to love and be loved, to be seen--- to be enough-- that need is in us all.  And I hope that you (YOU<-- the person reading this -->YOU) are gentle and kind with yourself today and find a way to connect with your true essence-- your bright light.  The way can be food, beauty, light, a thought, a connection to another person, an image or a photograph, a sound, a smell--a bit of silly creativity in your day-- so many ways.

2.  I have weird food things I cannot fathom.  

Tomatoes are great as long as they are sliced thin and room temperature.  If you chop them and put them onto a pizza or into pasta sauce I will pick each one out.  I cannot do wedges of tomatoes at all and if you offer me a refrigerated tomato wedge I may turn my fork into a catapult and send it flying.  Yet, I love gazpacho and salsa.  This simply does not make sense.  My rational self is deeply annoyed by this incongruity.

Eggplant is one of the most gorgeous colors on the planet.  I love to handle an eggplant, draw and paint eggplant, photograph eggplant-- but I cannot eat eggplant.  In any form--ever.  And so you think, sure-- it's a texture issue-- but no, I love mushrooms and they are every bit as squishy and spongy as eggplant so what gives?

I must always eat all the broken piece first.  Pretzels, chips-- if there is a bowl or a pile of them, I will eat all the broken ones and keep the whole ones to the side and eat them last.  As much as I try NOT to do this because hello, WEIRD-- that's the only way I will eat them.

Aren't you glad you stopped by?

Bisous, E
 

10 comments:

  1. Yes this winter has be hellish, more so than usual it seems. But the drawer in my dresser that always sticks in winter has begun to glide again. The drawer doesn't quite close perfectly yet, but there is hope. Soon....

    As for chips and such, although the idea of keeping all the whole ones for the end appeals to me in ways to numerous to count, I couldn't eat them that way because that certain someone would eat all the intact ones.

    - Jazz

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  2. What a winter it was. Any slice or thread of beauty we can hold onto helps ~ but my heart truly cracks with heaviness reading over the last two sentences of that anonymous email. I've been there and I've felt that way. Dear writer, you are not alone. I am holding onto the hope that wherever you are today, that the sun is shining on you - and that I believe in your specialness and your uniqueness.

    Liz -> You are a dear. Luv u more than eggplant (and wowz, I love me some eggplant...)

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  3. I have never ever liked eggplant either, until a long-ago boyfriend cut them in slices, slathered them in honey-mustard and GRILLED them. 'Course it could just have been the chef.

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  4. thank you for reminding us that we are not alone. reading the excerpt from the email was just a reminder that we all feel alone at some point, whether we have amazing friends who support us (and I really do) we all have those feelings of aloneness. i am so thankful for my amazing friends, like you, who hold me up when i am in that space which seems alot lately. we all need to realize that we really aren't alone, we have a connection to all humans everywhere. love you...and that snow...well i am glad it hasn't made its way down here. xo

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  5. My heart goes out to your writer and I would be lying if I said I've never had days when I've felt like that. Fortunately there are those friends that seem to appear out of nowhere when life is at its toughest who have held me up and reflected my hidden courage back to me. The excerpt reminds me to be truly present with others so I may be that friend who appears when needed.

    Also, you made me laugh! What a beautifully random share! Although I love tomatoes in almost any form if they are IN SEASON, you can keep them if refrigerated... and the eggplant, absolutely no thank you. BUT, eating the broken pieces first and saving the beauties for last? I've never heard anyone admit to my secret freakish eating habits. Another: when eating m&m's I'm compelled to separate them by color and eat only the extras so I end up with the same number of each.

    xo

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  6. Hahaha....I eat my food separately, never mixing things together. I always have. I'll eat all of my carrots, before moving on to the peas, and then the potatoes. I usually leave my favourite thing until near the end. Not right at the end, just in case I get full up before I get to it, but I'll save it for near the end. We're all weird in our own little ways : )

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  7. Chronology of me reading this post: Boohoo, sniffle...hahaha!

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  8. O do that with chips and crackers too...don't know why....just want to give the broken ones a shot at the limelight I think :)

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  9. My heart breaks for the person who wrote that letter. I cannot imagine my life without my friends (you are a big part of that). I hope that she too can find people who will love and understand her. She needs to find her tribe.

    It's funny...I used to think that to feel loved and accepted, you needed many friends, a whole gaggle of girlfriends. It is only now that I understand it is quality, not quantity. I have very few true friends, but the ones that I have are worth their weight in gold.

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  10. I love how you connect people E, your words,story and truth reach out and shine...
    I have the opposite food thingey (Technical word) I can't eat the broken pretzel/chip pieces, oddly because I feel like my hands are too big.. makes no sense but there it is.

    hugs
    Karen

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thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me-- I love that you stopped by and hope something I shared was what you needed today. xo, e