Sunday, April 24

(castles optional)

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I found an old blue bench today—paint chipped and weather worn—it was a thing of beauty. Alas, not mine for the taking as it belongs to the farm— but I stole some snapshots to share.

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Oh Easter— yes, you are the season of rebirth, regeneration and renewal— you are also (for me anyway)— raw. Raw. Wrenching.

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Each of the most significant and traumatic experiences in my life happened on this very day— or sometime during/around Easter weekend— isn’t that wild?

Every. single. one.

(Which, admittedly, I must give kudos to my karmic project manager for such exceptional marksmanship.)

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But that was then, this is now.


Isn’t it funny how music will save us? This is the song I listened to over and over and over today. Each time the lyrics sinking more deeply into my heart.

That was then, this is now
Found my way back here somehow
Knew you’d have to let me go
Told you once, I told you so
Take me down
You can hold me but you
Can’t hold what’s within
Pull me round
Push me to the limit
Maybe I may bend
But I know where I’m not going
I will not be broken


I will not be
Someone other than who I am
I will fight to make my stand
Cause what is living if I can’t live free
What is freedom if I can’t be me?


The song was playing was on a mix-cd that Jen Gray made for me. Lucky, lucky, most blessedly lucky me. I can’t begin to tell you how lucky I am for the friends and care that I receive as a result of this blog and Squam.

As I look about this office, on every wall and on every shelf are the gifts, paintings, cards, letters, photographs, stones and tokens— so many, many beautiful treasures that have been sent to me with love— from people who read this blog, from people who have attended SAW. I have them all around me in plain sight because they help me gain strength and clarity every day— this weekend most of all.

And so, Easter might have a powerful hold over my past—but that was then and this is now.
Time to splash in for a baptismal—

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wash away the old—shake off the demons and remember that we all get to write our own fairy tale.

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All of us, we do.

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Bisous, E

11 comments:

  1. Love this: "remember that we all get to write our own fairy tale."

    And of course, the last photo of Daisy.

    - Vespa Rossa / Zagara di Sicilia

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  2. Happy Easter Elizabeth. I am LOVING your fairy tale, and I am composing my own. In my head. Not ready yet to put it down on paper. But, YOU inspire me so much! Sending you LOVE!

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  3. Yes we do all get to write our own fairy tale! So thankful for YOU! xo

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  4. scamp (aka Shirley)April 25, 2011 at 4:13 AM

    Inspired!

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  5. Scribbling that fairy tale on scraps of paper around here every day. As usual, the photos are gorgeous. The first one of the bench looks like a sky. So beautiful... and the words, well, there are none good enough to say how much yours help. xo

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  6. Happy Easter, E! I don't know how you take such consistently GORGEOUS photos, but please, don't stop!

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  7. YES we do. love the pups as always

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  8. Yes, that blue bench is a thing of beauty ... so are your photos and your happy, smiling pups!
    Glad that you had Bonnie and her true to the heart words to help you thru the weekend, take good care.

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  9. amen sister, amen. the words. the photos. well, they help me and you totally can rock me to the core with them.
    love you.
    xo

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  10. The blue bench looks like an old church pew. Huh, kind of fitting, I think.

    Happy Season of Renewal :)

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  11. Elizabeth, I'm sending so much love your way. Shaking my head at how stressful it sounds like this week has been for the both of us. Cooking up ideas for how and when to finally get your good words recorded...

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thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me-- I love that you stopped by and hope something I shared was what you needed today. xo, e