Friday, May 13

in this world it's hard to get it right*

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This was a tough week. I try really hard to live free of stress, but it turns out that I am more susceptible to it than I would like to be. But, this morning, after I hung up the phone following some very frustrating conversations, instead of crawling under the covers and trying to block out the world (which has been the m.o. for most of my life), I grabbed my camera and headed outside.

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Sometimes, I find it hard to believe this is part of my life-- that I have a camera, that I take pictures and that I have a place to share them.

Sometimes, I look around at the world, the life I have created and find it hard to believe that it is mine, that I love every bit of it (even the craptastic stuff that makes me want to throw it out the window), that it is exactly what I want.

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Last week, I was on the phone with Thea and talking about my 'sacred mornings.' It's odd how they have evolved and I am hoping that it is the one thing I am able to transport down to my new life in Providence.

My sacred mornings.

Back in the day when I lived at Soliden, but still worked the corporate scene-- I would get up early enough to get the dogs out for a walk and then we would all settle together in the living room for about 30 minutes while I drank coffee and scribbled in my notebooks. It was the most magical time of the day. It was the time of day when I believed anything was possible. Those 30 minutes were my whole world.

Last June, when I moved to the farm, I wanted to focus on daily meditation, as well as writing and yoga-- and, to my amazement, I have.

Better still, I have created a habit, a ritual. Part of this is that I never (never ever) schedule any meetings, appointments, phone calls, etc-- in the morning. The wonderful administrative assistant you all conjured up for me? She arrives after 11am. And so, I have carved out sacred time, each and every morning.

It seems, I am a workaholic type personality (I know, you are all so rocked with surprise by this admission)-- if I open the laptop, if I go online, if I answer an email-- I am in and there is no getting me out of it. But, if I stay out of the office and instead, walk the dogs, make coffee, mess about in the studio, sit in my white chair and read, write, meditate--- well, it makes for a very good start to the day. And guess what? All that other work stuff? It is all waiting for me, anyway-- it's not like it has anywhere to go. And, I get it all done-- well, you know, sorta kinda. I get enough done.

Oh, sigh.

I know this post sounds weird. It's cause I am buzzed and typing to you from Providence. Hmm, not sure if I should go ahead and post it and write more coherently in the morning or if I should just scratch this and write something else tomorrow or Sunday -- whenever.

What's weird is I know what began this post-- it was this video that Jeanine sent me this morning:



I feel so grateful. I feel so supported. I feel like you all are helping me toward the sunlight and I wonder, do you even know?

Do you know that you are helping me find my way through?

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Bisous, E

* Ingrid Michaelson, Everybody

10 comments:

  1. I'm so happy for you knowing you have carved out a sacred time for yourself. I know how vital of a life-line it is for you and the life you want to live.
    Do you know that I l~o~v~e you mucho, mucho? xo

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  2. I know, and I hope you know you are doing the same for me.

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  3. When I was getting up at 5:00 AM, when my old dog was still alive, I would take 10 minutes (!) TEN MINUTES to meditate. It transformed my day. The running afterward probably helped too, but I felt a difference if I missed my 10 minutes. Now with the new dog, I don't get out in the morning or EVERYONE would be up at 5:00. Which would defeat the purpose of getting up that early in the first place. I am rambling here, I guess I just want to tell you how jealous I am that you have that sacred time. Don't EVER give it up!

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  4. I love the sacred time in the morning. I think it is so very important. I know for me that if I don't have this time, the day is a big crazy stressball...but with it, the day is much more calm. Love you...love that you wrote this buzzed...can't wait to see pics of your new home. xoxo

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  5. Au contraire, mon cheri. It is YOU who is leading the way into the sunlight. That last photo got me bad. It is so beautiful and peaceful and it reminds me so much of the way I've told you that you are a bit like Gretel, wandering the dark and scary path just ahead of me trailing breadcrumbs so I don't lose my way... And others are leading you... What a lovely world we are creating.
    I am so glad you have your mornings to ground you. It is something I have attempted to do many times and haven't quite gotten the hang of yet, but I think this post has inspired me to try again.
    And I, too, love that you wrote this buzzed. You can totally rock the pen and paper either way! (the songs are pretty damn perfect as well!) Have a great time this weekend. Post photos of the new digs if you get in to measure and stuff. xo

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  6. you will never know how much your words have helped me gather strength...they do, oh yes, they do. thank you for sharing all that captures and inspires such openess.

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  7. that last photo...is really really beautiful.

    i almost gave up on today myself and then..suddenly the day turned beautiful. a walk through a park filled with tall trees. picking sage for our supper in the autumn blue late dusk rain. flirting with the firebird. eating delicious food. blogging. and now off to a bath smelling of lavender and bitter orange*

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  8. What a great reminder Elizabeth! Thank you for sharing your morning, you have totally inspired me to carve out some time.

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  9. ah... and did you KNOW that you are helping US through? sacred time and space is something I am working on creating. I also just started that Soul Coaching book that you wrote about here.. today is day..................1

    hugs
    Karen

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thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me-- I love that you stopped by and hope something I shared was what you needed today. xo, e