Tuesday, July 19

oh elizabeth, thine name is paradox

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Don't you just love how in one post I am postulating that I would never share photos from my boudoir with the internet and in the next I splash a 640 pixel jpg of my very pillow at this site? The hell?

I blame it all on this photo here. Totally inspired me-- love the feel. Somehow it has nothing to do with any one person's bed and is much more about an emotion.

That's my argument, anyway and I'm sticking to it. (You can challenge me, but I'll just run away <--my tried and true m.o.)

Although why I would even try to define myself by habitual behaviors of old is questionable since I've slipped down the rabbit hole and am living in a whole new landscape where apple trees drop their unripe, misshapen fruit onto sidewalks to cluster in pools of green, where mornings have a long, extended hush brushed only with the lightest, sweetest of breezes because the city doesn't stir until after we've been up for hours, where I snap the leads onto the dog collars and slide out into the darkness of late night because there are no bugs, there are no bears-- nothing but streetlights and street after street to explore.

I wouldn't say this new world is free from moments of alienation and awkwardness because I definitely have those, too. It's a mix. Sometimes I meet someone and strike up an easy conversation, another time I feel what can only be described as social hostility. Oddly enough, I learn from the dogs. For some dumb reason, I thought dogs like dogs.

Like, simply by walking into a dog park or onto a dog beach where there is a varied group of canines, my two would be delighted to connect. Um, no. Sometimes, yes-- often no.

Watching them, I see they don't connect with every single dog just cause they are all of the same species and that has given me breadth and perspective on my own interactions. Why I think I will connect with every human being is an exploration for another day, but suffice to say it is a deeply embedded ERRONEOUS belief in the shimmering cords of my cerebrum that I am now, most comfortably, releasing.

Of course, it makes the connections I do have all the sweeter. Case in point: my girl Michelle who is arriving here in Provy tomorrow and staying with me for FIVE. WHOLE. DAYS.

What's that thing people say? Christmas in July!

Bisous, E

6 comments:

  1. oooh, so happy that Michelle is visiting! what fun you girls are going to have! love the bed photos :) xo

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  2. LOVE your bedroom...love love love...sunshine and warmth...yes!

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  3. Will you give eachother hugs..from me? Please? Love you both. xo

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  4. Yet another life lesson from dogs! They are full of the good advice!

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  5. It is weird that lack of connection, isn't it? Sometimes the SAME person who I have previously had easy conversations with, same wavelength same page entirely, suddenly is an awkward presence. Life has so many mysteries, doesn't it?

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thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me-- I love that you stopped by and hope something I shared was what you needed today. xo, e