The dogs got groomed today and are deep in sleep trying to put miles of unconsciousness between them and the trauma.
Oh, surely I kid--
They are always rather plaintive following the biannual ordeal but are even more out of sorts today as they navigate the topsy-turvy office space that is in the midst of a serious overhaul and their keen awareness that I am about to go on a trip.
I am also out of sorts for pretty much all of the above (except I was not subjected to prolonged periods in a cage or being bathed and having my nails clipped by a perfect stranger), as well as being flat out fatigued.
There it is: I'm tired.
I don't want to be tired, I don't like being tired, but that is my state of being so I must face it (preferably into a pile of down sheathed in a silk pillowcase).
So much good. Grateful for all of it. Trying to regain my balance. Trying to find my center. There have been times in my life when I was super clear, super focused. This is not that time.
I am definitely moving through big change, bigger than I can actually see--- bigger than I can actually understand consciously. The only way I know that all this is happening is because I feel it in my body. Aside from fatigue, which isn't really an emotion (is it?), all the sensation of my life is being experienced on the physical level. Not mentally, not emotionally, not particularly spiritually.
It feels like I am caught up in some kind of big energetic tide--- it doesn't even feel specific to me personally, if that makes any sense.
Either way, as much as I am the world's worst traveler-- I'm looking forward to getting on a plane on Sunday not only to have hours upon uninterrupted hours with my friend who I haven't had a true conversation with in months (and I can see her house from my kitchen window!), but because I am hoping for some perspective.
And, when I come home-- it will be February-- the shortest month of the year!
If you are in need of inspiration, here are some things I enjoyed stumbling across this week:
2. casey roberts
3. just a little nap under a warm tree
4. thou shalt put on thy red shoes and dance the blues
5. what I am making for dinner tomorrow night, miam miam
love and light sprinkled generously over your sweet head ..