Sometimes when I have been away from here for an extended period of time (and for me, a week between posts is a very long time-- whole days have come and gone) it is because I am struggling with some aspect of life that seems to have me in a head-lock and giving me a noogie. This is not one of those times.
Nay, things are feeling lovely and I am more loose, more easy, more comfortable in my skin than I have been in quite some time. I love it and want it to last.
However, if it weren't the 29th of February, a day that only rolls around every 1460 days or so, I would totally lame-out and fail to make it in here-- but miss the chance to post on leap year? No way.
The thing is, I'm not a multi-tasker.
I have never been a multi-tasker.
I'm a get-two-things-done-a-day-and-call-it-good, kind of tasker.
In the past few months, I have shifted some priorities around, which crowded out my time to goof about with a camera in my hand. As kids in this neighborhood might say, wickitbum-mah. Taking photos and posting them here is part of what prompts whatever it is that I scribble on about. Without those touch points-- I flail.
Daily photographs have a way of being the diary of my days.
So what has been going on in my world? Where have I been putting my time and energies?
The number one time suck (and I say that with the kind of love I reserve for a pizza being pulled from a wood fired oven) has been writing. On November 1st I began dedicating three mornings a week to writing a novel (I know, gah, who can write those words without sounding like a jerk except, you know, Cervantes & co.?) and it will be four months tomorrow where I have not missed one single date with myself-- despite an unprecedented avalanche of squam registrations, holidays, travel or illness. I showed up-- and have over 175 pages chilling in an ice bucket.
So, there's that.
Then there's squam-- which is my livelihood and also a vibrant, active community that has never been a nine to five kind of deal. As Dave used to say, "squam never sleeps." There are so many wonderful projects and collaborations and exciting developments going on there that are all good, just pretty full out. More full out than ever before, so it's been a challenge for me to get rigorous about creating a schedule where there's all that yummy stare out the window and dream stuff I so like to do.
I have read some blogs who blast the concept of balance-- and though I'm happy for them to be embracing a lifestyle without it, I am not in that camp and never will be.
I love balance.
I seek balance.
I am happiest when I feel like the rhythms of my life are in balance.
It's just who I am.
And so, as fulfilled as I am to have added in this writing practice as a number one priority in my life, it really shifted things and there were no few wiggles and lurches to bring me back into a place where I can hold that and still keep my hours of goofy pleasure in the week.
Walking around with a camera in my hand falls into that category.
This morning, I had three minutes in my pajamas while the dogs sniffed about and greeted the day. So I grabbed a moment of sun from my porch--
It's not at all where I want to be--- and I fully intend to create the hours to lounge about, camera at the ready. But for now, that's where I'm at.