What I love most about reading people's blogs are the days they share honestly about a struggle, a challenge-- and how they got through it. Because isn't that what we all have in common? We're here in this crazy world making choices to live the best life we can, to follow the way that feels true to us and damn if it isn't hard.
Most of the time?
All of the above?
I like to say that I wish there were a good living in being a hermit cause I would rake it in-- but I don't honestly believe that hermits get off any easier-- it's just another form of escape-- and if I have a core philosophy about life*, it is this:
there's no where to go, but through
We have all these relationships -- family, work, neighbors, friends, people we regularly connect with in the grocery store, the bank, the post office, etc --- and sometimes the relationships are what save us and sometimes it's the relationships that send us running for the hills.
So much of what we think is real is simply illusion--- the only thing that is real is love -- how we show it, how we share it, how we manifest it in our lives.
The bitch of it all-- for me, anyways-- is that love doesn't always roll in on butterfly wings with bunnies and kittens in attendance. A lesson in love can show up as a snarling, snapping cur that's tearing down all the clean laundry you just hung out to dry in the back yard.
There's mud, destruction, ugliness and a big mess to sort through.
But if you dig in-- face down the dog-- offer gentleness and love-- so much good comes out. Every time. This has been true for me again and again. I don't like it, I am still holding out for the bunnies and butterflies-- but, I embrace the process.
Oddly enough, in a total non-metaphor way of life--- the backyard of this house is an absolute wretched trash heap.
Dead branches, an old rusted bbq grille, broken plastic chairs, overgrowth, bricks, rotting fence---- it's hoagly.
The yard one over, that is connected to ours, was much the same (this is an area of rentals for college students) --- until a few weeks ago-- someone new moved in and cleaned the other yard. It is now neat, tidy, groomed and looks lovely. I feel so badly because now he gets to sit in his nice yard and look at our mess.
So I am thinking-- even though it's not mine, and just a rental-- I am gonna get out there and wrestle that back yard into some semblance of beauty.
And, even if I can't actually make it beautiful, at the end-- it will be cared for, nurtured and improved-- and sometimes, that's enough.
*oh please, it's me we're talking about-- I have like 60 core philosophies about life