Thursday, September 20

yesterday, the beach

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Hour by hour, I am gaining ground and tomorrow morning, I fully expect to be in alignment once again, with my life and all its sweet rhythms and routines.

It's probably true that I haven't done much 'journaling' here for some time. I'm not sure-- I would have to go back and see what I've posted in the past months to make a determination about that, but I feel things have been a bit full out which leaves little margins for reflection here.

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Autumn is my season for reflection. It stirs me deeply. Unlike Spring that just spins me around by the tail and tosses me to land in the bushes, dizzy and unsteady on my feet, September, October and November ground me; they root me.

Memories will pop out of nowhere fully formed, replete with the oddest of details like the plaid cotton jumper I wore on the first day of kindergarten with its culotte skirt and gold metal rings at the waist.

New images of things I want to experience or create will catch me just as I am doing the most ordinary thing like turning a corner or closing the door tightly behind me and I am shocked by their presence. Where did they come from? Do they really expect me to follow them? Won't this totally change everything?

That's how Autumn is for me. First, I remember who I am. Second, my direction will change without warning. I wrench the steering wheel and follow the glimpse of dirt road, bumping, jolting, bracing for the impact of having made a terrible mistake.

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But the impact never comes because my mistakes (ever painful, ever huge) are always followed by the discovery that I have reached new ground and I want to kiss it for how lucky I feel.

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So, I guess you could say this is my season-- the cold, the color, the harvest.

The last week I have not been able to write daily on the novel-- hell, I didn't even get to peek into one Squam class-- not one. It was that busy this time around. My plan is to get what must be done tomorrow and then, shut off all the electronics-- computer, phone etc and burrow into the weekend to make some headway. Last time I checked I was at about 325 typed pages. I'm thinking another 45-60 to go and I may just squeak under the wire to have the first draft done by November 1 as I set out to do on 11/1/11.

ha, but you know, no pressure--

bisous, e

6 comments:

  1. I love fall, too. It is the time of new beginnings for me. Your photos wow me at every turn. That first one...Oh. Breathtaking. And the stripes in the landscape. Such beauty you capture and illuminate here. I am SO excited for your novel. I think it is a perfect weekend to practice the "butt in chair" technique. I will be cheering you on from the sidelines to make your goal...I know you can do it...no pressure. xoxoxo

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  2. Fall is my favorite time of year- I find I pick the colors of fall for my living space and a lot of my clothing over and over again. :) It sounds like you have been swamped by life lately, (may be an understatement) enjoy the time away from electronics. I did just this last weekend and it renewed me so much I'm planning on doing it again. For me that means writing in longhand-- I find it flows so much better. How about you? Do you write in longhand still or on occasion? (Oh, I used to be Eileen W., but my Google account through my university changed, so now I just embraced a nickname my friends gave me- Mama Earth. :))

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  3. i always sigh with relief as fall rolls in. as the days grow shorter, i feel the quietness enter my being,
    making room for reflections and hushed doings. so i am loving your reflection here.

    sending peace and love your way as you settle into a weekend of writing.

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  4. thank you for the encouragement Megsie and Michelle! xo and Mama Earth (love that name!) I do always write longhand-- I fill notebooks longhand for the novel, too-- and then I type it up after . . it works best for me cause I am old school like that. xoox, e

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  5. Oh we're so similar... "First, I remember who I am. Second, my direction will change without warning."
    I cannot wait to spend some time together over tea. xo, C

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  6. Sometimes I think there are no such things as mistakes—not if we learn and grow out of them!

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thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me-- I love that you stopped by and hope something I shared was what you needed today. xo, e