Wednesday, November 28

much with the love, much with the light


This is what happens when I commit to a series of long weeks where I do as little as possible: everything gets mushy and nothing actually feels right.

My timing is off, my schedule is off, my photos are off, I am off.

Oh, wait-- that was the goal, right? To turn myself off? Well, then-- mission accomplished.

It has been a month characterized by the word meandering and supervised by the Muse of Nonchalance. I would recount all that happened except I can't really remember any of it seeing as I was in some drowsy-headed state between waking and dreaming.

I know that Daisy got some kind of super fun virus that had her puking only on the carpet (or, on my bed --  Hey! Fun with dogs!). Yes, this particular variety of illness prevented her from ever unloading the contents of her stomach on easily cleaned wood floor-- or, you know, outside in the grass.  

I know that I seem incapable of doing anything I think is any good when I am in this mindspace and that blows.


I know that Henry did the weirdest-ass thing and attacked* a jogger who was running toward me. (*Okay, he didn't actually do anything but charge and bark, but STILL!)

Henry! The hell?

I've had this beast since he was eight-weeks old, which is to say, for ten years and he has never, ever done anything like that and I was bewildered. Thank goodness the jogger was a super nice man (now with a heart condition, no doubt), but I have no idea what happened-- is it because Henry is losing sight in one eye? Because he was between me and the jogger and it was an automatic defensive response?

Either way-- not good.


What is good: super fun Thanksgiving weekend with this family and new friends coming over to knit, other friends to go out and see silly movies.

Yes, I did forgo the serious choice of seeing Lincoln and insisted we go see a co-ed romp about competing a cappella singers-- (for the record, perfect decision).


Right now, I am trying to get back on my game as we have some big launches happening at the Squam site in the next two weeks and I have friend coming into town this weekend and I head out to Martha's Vineyard with friends next weekend for some Solstice mojo and long walks on the beach. So, to recap: same bat channel.

Emphasis on 'bat' as I never seem to get quite straight, quite rested, quite tuned up-- but don't you just love how I never seem to lose the belief that my 'perfect state of being' is right around the corner?


I know, me too--

What I also love?  I love that you come in here to check in on me (okay, so maybe you're just here for the dogs-- I'm good with that--)  Y'all are rock stars and I am sending you much, much with the love and the light for this magical season we are now heading into.


bisous, e


  1. "don't you just love how I never seem to lose the belief that my 'perfect state of being' is right around the corner?" - YES! In fact that's one of my favorite things about dropping in here, your drowsy fabulist optimism and whimsy...that and the pooches, of course ;).

    Also, completely forgot about the upcoming Solstice. You're inspiring me to do something to mark the occasion (which I have never done before, but now's a good time to start, no?).

    XOXO, J.

  2. omg...that first photo ?!
    every time i come here to this space..whether you feel like your mojo is on or not...i always feel a certain sense of something...something for which i cannot even find the words...but something.

  3. @michelle....yes, that's it exactly...something for which we cannot find the words. that's EXACTLY why I read this space. every day I look to see if there are new words and pics. i am patient, and i wait.......

  4. you guys fill my heart to the brim! seriously, and then it spills over. . . XOXOXOXXO, e

  5. This relaxed light filled space is soul- filling and I think you're doing just that. :) I love all of your pictures - the hawk, (guessing, not sure) is stunning and stands out to me in all of it's beauty. And, Henry- I had a dog who was slowly going blind- we tried to get a surgery for him, but learned it was not an operable condition. (He's with my ex now. :() Anyway, he would growl at night b/c he couldn't see and just had difficulty walking in bright light I found. I am so sorry to hear he lunged at and protected you when this is not his norm. Sending my love to you, Henry and Daisy, (can't leave her out ;)). xoxo

  6. Hmmm, never thought of the idea of "off" being exactly what I needed...
    Beautiful images and wishing you peace and clarity with Henry. xxO

  7. You are in the space you are meant to be right now. Fuzzy or not. Setting ourselves up with expectations is just that: setting ourselves up. At least that is the message that keeps finding its way back into my world recently. And what exactly is a perfect state of being? Maybe it is the journey.

    Confused about Henry. Sending gentle puppy love your way. That must have been a little scary.

  8. a) what is WITH the vomit? It claimed Daisy too? Seriously? Whyyyy?
    b) Henry--I've heard of that with older dogs loosing their sight. The other thing is (not to send alarm bells ringing) you might want to do a scan of his noggin--in people sudden irrational behavior can often be the result of tumors etc... :(
    c) Sending you loads + loads of love.

  9. I agree with Michelle ... a "je ne sais quoi" but perhaps just the sense of light? Light shining in all our spaces including - oh poor mama! - the carpet-with-vomit spaces! 'Tis end of year inward spiral and no sense can be made, it just has to be experienced. I too echo the thought that Henry is feeling "vulnerable" at some level. My dog has become super defensive and while many reasons may be at play, he does have a "condition" that probably has him feeling less than his full self and therefore more on guard because of it. Perhaps his tummy was off as well? Certainly a person coming directly at him or you is a very threatening gesture. Our dogs put up with a lot of rude behavior from us humans (this is what a trainer once told me) and maybe he has had enough. A little Maggie Smith a la Downton Abbey feistiness? Love to you all!


thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me-- I love that you stopped by and hope something I shared was what you needed today. xo, e