Thursday, December 6

looking up

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Just barely keeping my head above water which is not where I thought I would be by now. Let's not forget -- under that glossy surface are two busy little feet paddling, paddling.

Oh, there it is -- my personal bird trill -- "not enough TIE-TIE-TIME"

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I think the issue is that I treat my life like an all-you-can-eat buffet. Yes! I will start with six creative projects please. Oh, yes! I will take a serving of friends coming to visit, just nudge it onto the plate there next to me traveling to spend time with friends. Yes! Let's have a few hot deadlines on top. Wait-- is that a pot of holiday cards and present making? Oh, please ladle a bit of that over top.

How do you say no? How do you find pace within it all?

I ask most sincerely because you are all doing so much more than I am and you make it look easy. Am thinking that if you unwound my DNA (which hello, it's already a rather frayed ribbon, n'est-ce pas?) you would find the strand of energy is missing from the braid.

Because let's look at the facts:
Am I not a hermit? (Indeed, I am).
Do I not work for myself from home? (Why yes, dust bunnies have all been served subpeonas and are eager to testify).
How on earth can I not have time to nap?

Because, dear Santa, that is all I want for Christmas:  five days in a row with zero work and long afternoon naps.

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In this moment, I am still packed from a sweet jaunt north where I was welcomed into the fold of a dear friend so will just throw my same bag into the back of the car with the dogs and head to Woods Hole where we will catch a ferry to Martha's Vineyard to spend a pre-solstice celebration weekend with friends.

Word is there are some fun Holiday Fairs happening in Edgartown on Saturday so I will bring my camera with me and hope to have something to share with you all.

I know I sound like such a wretch complaining about having a life full of love and joy and sweet friends-- but you will just have to love me anyway.

more soonest -
bisous, e

9 comments:

  1. It ain't rocket science Sweetheart. The only way to do it all is to not have so much on your plate. Know your priorities and limits and learn to say no.

    Yeah, easier said than done, I know, but there is no other way.

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  2. Not that it helps, but I am so there with you! Am waiting for some grand resource or collective wisdom to drop on my head and tell me how to balance/have time for everything. Sending *much* love your way...

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  3. The only thing that helps me is knowing without a doubt that something is bound to fall off the plate and that'll have to be okay. I have gotten better at saying "no" to the extraneous though, even if it means maybe disappointing someone. Sometimes that's better than knowing I'll be even more behind/overloaded/overwhelmed/at my rope's end if I say "yes" (also helps that I'm a major homebody, too).

    J.

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  4. my mother used to say to me: "you CAN have it all......just not at the same time." True dat.

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  5. ya no complaining. dito haphazardlife.

    Bridgemor

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  6. Oh, I totally understand... I've been realizing and writing about this too lately. I like what Anonymous 1's mother says above. I hear that. ;) xxO

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  7. I've been told " you can have anything you want - just not everything you want.". So true. Balancing the life of a hermit slash artist with that of a lover of life and beauty gets complicated. Learning what you want is a process and as humans that seems to include overdoing especially if you are creative. Self-forgiveness, self-love and a cup of tea helps. Also, for me, personifying my emotions and querying them is a nice tool. For instance "Confusion-why are you visiting me- is this necessary - what now?" Write down the answers and read later. Mixed emotions are purposeful and useful guides if we address them. Trust me - I'm working on it too. Embrace your humaness and love of life. It's a gift that you are sharing with all of us. Thank you. :) Andrea PS if interested I've written a poem "that That" that (smiling now) expresses this ambiguity. On my blog awoodlandrose.wordpress.com. Andrea

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  8. I am wishing for those days of naps for you. An eagerness for life- that's all you're guilty of. :) Continue to try to soak it all in amidst the chaos. I love the festive reflection of your ornaments- just so pretty!! Enjoy your trip!! xoxo

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  9. we love you in all your fullness and fraying DNA.
    wishing you those days of zero work and afternoon naps.
    xo

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thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me-- I love that you stopped by and hope something I shared was what you needed today. xo, e