A common question in my life, it seems. Do I have to be headed somewhere? Anywhere?
Maybe I'm already here? What's the balance to be had in life between growing and changing and simply being?
The hell, Elizabeth? dear lord -- that was about five questions too many to start the day.
Well-- in my defense, it has been a hell of a long couple weeks getting ready for the June Squam session -- work has been in overdrive and sleep has been in short supply. Not a good combo for this fragile flower.
Am thinking someone is in need of a swim or some time by the lake. Good thing this time next week I will be at Squam and though there's slim chance I'll have all my ducks in a row -- do I ever? -- I will at least be in it and living it and it is a pretty magical place to step into for sure.
So I told you the trip to Paris with Tara was really fun, but I may not have told you that it was also the catalyst for some huge changes in my life. One night, after a super full day where we had been out walking and seeing and being in the city for more than 10 hours-- we decided to stay in the apartment and watch a movie.
As it happened I had Romantics Anonymous on my amazon account so we watched that seeing as it was in French, we thought it was appropriate. If you don't know it (and really, why would you since it's a bit of an obscure French rom-com?) the story is about hypersensitive people (yeah, I know-- I couldn't relate at all). But you know how it is when you watch something campy with a good friend and a bottle of wine-- many jokes and little catch phrases work their way into your conversations and so now, every few days I'll get a text from Tara and all it will say is a line from the movie when the heroine is being encouraged to be brave: "plonge Angelique! plonge!"
(Translation: Dive in!)
It's nearly two years since I moved to Providence and I am beginning to feel more brave about connecting with people, getting out, socializing, etc. You've been with me long enough to know I find relationships to be so difficult and confusing and also how last year there were some friendships ending that caused real heartbreak. In times past, it might have caused me to head to the hills, but I'm feeling a bit proud to say that although I may have dug down into my den a bit to heal some wounds, I didn't run away.
I am still here and gaining true strength in myself as I learn to transform these experiences from lead into gold. Of course, ironically, the reason I have been able to do that is due to the extraordinary friends I have in my life who have nurtured me and supported me through this transition.
And, you know-- there's always the puppers.
On another note, have you guys seen these sites? Am really digging on them recently:
Mystic Mama - READ THE SIGNS
Gotta fly now-- more soonest --