morning light, 28 August 2013
An old question to be sure-- one that pops up for most bloggers with some frequency. Once upon a time I would say it was to create and nurture connections, but those connections have been made and are fostered elsewhere for the most part. Sure, there are plenty of bloggers who do it now for revenue, but hello--- that has never been the raison d'etre for this little laundry line.
I think for me it is about collecting moments.
Some people pin butterflies into shadow boxes, others tuck odd stamps behind sheets of cellophane -- I blog.
I also journal-- which REALLY begs the question: what in god's name is going on in this head of mine?!!<---! Seriously. I was chatting with Bella last night and laughing about the accumulation of physical journals piling up here after just two years in this space (it is time to box up a bunch and tuck them away) and I really didn't have any answers on why I write or what I write except to say-- I am witness to my life: to its teachings, to the people, to the color, the light, the breath, the moment, and as much as possible for an Aquarian/Vulcan/misanthrope such as myself-- to the feelings that can be had on this earthly plane.
Yes, all these photos have already been posted at instagram. My apologies to anyone who is getting double dose, but I just don't carry the Lumix anymore. At this time, anyway-- life is moving faster and I am full out with creative projects and the camera is just not finding its way into my day.
Sunday I began a book that I finished Monday morning<--! I know, right? (Reading-- when do I ever do that?) It's called Born on a Blue Day and it's a series of reflections from Daniel Tammet, an autistic savant. I found it both fascinating and boring. The boring part came from his way of seeing the world which is all through numbers (which have color, shape and sensation). You would think I could find that interesting, but I didn't-- not really. I pretty much zoned out on those parts.
What drew me in the most was how he navigated the world and how flipping amazing the angels in his life were-- namely his parents and many of his teachers. I also loved how he is here but actually caught in another dimension of here-- sort of like the back curtain where everything is made up of numbers and equations--- that doesn't make sense, I know-- probably, again why I found his writing so interesting because he was able to express something of how he experiences life when it is so very different from how most of us do.
And how, as brilliant as he is-- his mind is extraordinary-- he cannot grasp subtleties of nuance such as double negatives, or social norms. I find that fascinating.
But all that being said, one of my favorite bits came at the end when he is talking about perfect moments and writes:
All of a sudden I experienced a kind of self-forgetting and in that brief, shining moment all my anxiety and awkwardness seemed to disappear. . . . I imagine these moments as fragments or splinters scattered across a lifetime. If a person could somehow collect them all up and stick them together he would have a perfect hour or even a perfect day. And in that hour or day he would be closer to the mystery of what it is to be human.
Dogs, of course, have this shit all figured out.
Me? All I can tell you is after weathering some big storms last year, my life has crossed into new seas and things are feeling more steadily peaceful, more deeply joyful -- which has pretty much been my goal all along. I can honestly say I have been laughing more-- and when I say laughing I mean doubled over can't breathe, belly-aching laughter-- and more frequently than I can ever remember in a long, long time. So that is good.
The summer, specifically, has been rich with beach time, sunshine, friends, great food and romance (<--! woot) which does the heart good, for sure. Some of it I have been able to capture in my journals, some of it I have been able to capture in snapshots on instagram-- but most of it will simply drift away as memories do -- collecting into some kind of soft haze where the details all blend one into the next.
So I come in here to blog-- to say, I want a record of this day, this morning where it is gray and misty outside my window as September begins nudging her way in the door.
Where my sweet long hours are now busy, full-out days readying things for the Squam gathering happening in just two weeks.
Where I can still touch the magic that was this summer and say, oh yes. It was magic indeed.
Thanks for coming along on the ride with me. I love sharing these moments with you.