Sunday, November 10

two things


There's a scene in Thelma & Louise that always haunted me.  (Is 'haunted' too strong?  I merely want to convey that it stayed with me in a sort of evocative, but not in a-good-way way . . what verb would you use?)

It comes at the beginning when to give a quick character snapshot of Louise you see her single water glass drying next to the sink.  Everything in its place.

Hmmm . ..  snapshot of an uptight spinster or, a woman who likes a clean kitchen?  For me, the image wasn't positive, but it resonated. 

I wasn't married (or divorced) at the time the movie came out---  hell no, I was still a young, wild thing (I remember Tara and I were so amped when we came out from the movie that we drove  around Boston as fast as we could-- making the wheels squeal on the turns-- okay, full disclosure?  SHE was driving and I was holding my head out the window).  And yet, the "snapshot" scene of Thelma (the younger woman) -- eating a candy bar in furtive bites, each time sticking it back into the refrigerator before pulling it out again for another bite-- absolutely didn't resonate with me.  So maybe in the moment of watching it I responded to my inner (future) spinster?  Hmmm, I wonder.

This odd memory has come up because I am thinking about habits and routines.

I know I have mentioned in times past how one of my intractable routines is that the kitchen sink has to be clean before I go to bed.  Not because I can't sleep with a sink full of dishes, but because waking up in the morning and being greeted by a sink full of dirty dishes is just not how I want to start my day.

Yesterday I was reading in this book and jotting down the following, "to change your life is to change your energy.  To make an elemental change in your mind and emotions you can't do things as you always have."  In other words, if I want new outcomes, I must break routines.  "How can I expect something wonderful and different to show up when I think the same thoughts, perform the same actions and experience the same emotions every single day?"

And so, last night, as I was headed to the kitchen to clean up, I decided to do something I don't normally do.  I signed up for Netflix and got an instant streaming account and watched the first three episodes of White Collar -- in the guest room that I have now christened "the TV lounge" despite the fact that it is missing a, um, you know-- actual television.

Although I must admit, after the third episode when I was ready to go to sleep -- I did get up and wash the dishes.

Which, as ever, made me very happy when I walked into the kitchen this morning.

But then-- in pursuit of continuing to mix up my daily routines -- I decided not to come in here and post until some odd time of the day.  Like dusk.  Like now.

uploadSunday morning with Ella Fitzgerald and Daisy 

Okay.  I'm all for creative disruption - but you know what? 

I don't like writing at this time of day. 

The end of the day is good for two things:  naps and walks.

I'll let you guess which one the girl is gonna choose.

bisous, e


  1. I love that you are a book worm like me. I have not done the self-help thing (although I probably should think about it, my life seems a mess (literally...), but I don't have time for that kind of thing right now) but I am taking a class and in the margins of my books are all kinds of notes about how to do things differently. As for changing your routines, I would take that advice only if your routines inhibit how you want your life to be. Like my routine of PROCRASTINATING when I have a paper due at midnight (A-HEM!) might need some adjustment. But having a clean kitchen in the morning? Sounds good to me, I only WISH I could master that! And writing when it is right for you? Seriously. Why would you change that? I think that book is more for ME than you. It is for beginners. It is for people who don't have their shit together. You are not in that category. Not even close.

    1. ha ha Megsie-- you are so funny-- I probably didn't present the info correctly as it really does apply to me. (I HATE writing later in the day, for the record-- so won't be doing that again-- blah) but in terms of doing NEW things that interest me and MIXING it up-- this is good if I want new things, new experiences and new people to come into my life-- which I do-- so bear with me on this-- but I LOVE your mama bear loyalty to me-- and now hear me when I say to you most sternly

      STOP. BEING. SO. HARD. ON. YOURSELF-- okay? you are perfect right now. and you need to KNOW that to your toes. xoxo,e

  2. I know exactly what you mean about changing routine. For years, and I mean years I ironed just about every piece of clothing I wore to work, or made sure I looked liked my idea of presentable just to go to the grocery store. I remember the first day I purposely did not iron the linen shirt and jeans I wore to work. I felt uncomfortable, but the end of the day was no different than any other day before. The next day I did the same thing, wore un-ironed clothes. Pretty soon I began to feel a sense of freedom, especially in the morning. I now had extra time to linger over breakfast and tea. Well, here it is some twenty years later, and I never pick up an iron unless I absolutely have to. In that twenty years I have also given up other habitual/ritual tasks and I find that my world does not end, or come apart. In fact, I find a liberation of sorts from a self-imposed construct. I get to choose what tasks or habits are really important or meaningful to me in my daily functioning and when I want to engage in them. BTW I am so bad at leaving dishes in the sink at night, but I actually like the idea of cleaning as my first task of the day.


  3. I like the idea of coming into a clean kitchen first thing in the morning. In my ideal world, the house would be spotless (and warm in the winter), and I'd make coffee, sit in my comfortable (and spotless) living room, and write or knit before going to work. The reality is much different. I do not feel like cleaning the dishes after dinner. I get home from work late, and by the time we've eaten dinner, it's almost bedtime. Like Bridgemor, I like doing the dishes in the morning because it creates a sense of accomplishment. If nothing else, I completed one task successfully.

    I love that you don't have an actual television. We have one, but as far as I'm concerned, it belongs to my husband. I watch it only if something he's watching catches my interest. Other than that, no TV. Maybe one day I'll actually turn it on and watch something when he's not around.

  4. Hmm, perhaps "weighed on", "preyed on", "vexed" or "troubled" you? Maybe "haunted" is better :)

    And, re: White Collar, um, am SO in love with that show! I can't decide if it's the bromance between Neal and Peter (and Mozzie), or the cuteness of Peter and Elizabeth, or the FBI camaraderie or the delicious heisty subject matters of wine and art and scotch and treasures and books...even with the sometimes slightly implausible plot lines. I hope you're enjoying it so far :).

  5. I am LOVING it!!! it's my treat for all the reasons you shared and I love the vocab suggestions--super!!

  6. I always have to walk around the house when I get home from work and tidy up things. If I don't do it, I'm restless and crabby until I do. So funny that you prefer to write in the mornings; for me, it's the exact opposite. As late as possible, usually, after I have digested the day and had a chance to catch up with my online world.

    1. Oh my goodness, it took a few months of post-marriage squabbling before my husband realized it was because he interfered with my after-work tidying, so I completely understand :).

  7. That photograph of Daisy, that first one. STUNNING! It will haunt me in entirely positive ways.
    I left Facebook last week. It was a place of vibrant, intelligent, engaging, amusing friends. It's where I kept up with friends round the world, family back home, and the change has been stunning.
    The only thing I can compare it to, without having experienced this 'other', is time in a decompression room after a deep dive. The noise is all gone. I didn't realise how noisy FB was. I loved it but there were too many voices running through my mind.
    I've had a week now, of NaBloPoMo, of committing to writing, of adjusting to this new peace ... and I'm loving it. Really loving it. Huge change, so much more peaceful, less busy, more energised, less fractured.
    "to change your life is to change your energy. To make an elemental change in your mind and emotions you can't do things as you always have."

    1. oh wow--- love the metaphor of the deep dive into water--- quiet, hush---- love. yes, I just wrote somewhere else this afternoon-- that I am looking forward to the day I don't need to be on the computer at all-- and I trust that day is coming in the near future . . . xoxoox love that you are WRITNG !!!


thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me-- I love that you stopped by and hope something I shared was what you needed today. xo, e