Wednesday, December 18

the real thing

At my brother's house. So grateful for this day. For light that always shows truth. For so much love all around me. I am blessed.
out my brother's window 

It is so easy in this world to get lost in the illusions.  With each generation, the evolution of technology and the dizzying heights of marketing spin, the masters of smoke and mirror get more clever, more adept at dazzling us with their refracted light.

If we are not grounded in our truth, in our connection to light -- it can be so easy to be deceived by Honest John and Gideon.  In fact, Pinnochio was my go-to personal myth for so long.  I felt like that wooden dummy who just wanted to be real and had to go through some rough times to learn how to "be brave, truthful and unselfish and able to tell right from wrong by listening to my conscience".  And by conscience, I mean -- my intuition.

Last year my friend Kat, she of the always thoughtful gifts, gave me a most gorgeous illustrated, hard-cover copy of this book as she knew how much I saw this story as a fable about soul growth.

image
 where I am calling from

This morning I am at my brother's house outside Philadelphia and the story came back into view once more.  I am free of Honest John and Gideon.  Ashamed to be duped by them, for sure, but also grateful for how they taught me to grow up and pay attention to my intuition which has never failed to be a clarion call to the good red road-- whether or not I was always able to hear it.

I've said this before and I will likely say it many times before I'm gone-- life is hard.  It is hard because all of us want to do well, live well, be well-- but we are here to grow and learn and sometimes those lessons take us right to the edge of pain and sorrow-- they take us right to the cliffs where we look back and say OH, how could I have been such a fool, why didn't I know then what I know now?  And this, this is where the true shift happens.

If we stay in that looking back place, we are in hell-- the agony of regret.

The key is to accept all of it as exactly what you needed to be. here. now.  In this place now, free, open-hearted, wiser with oceans of compassion for anyone traveling through those dark places.

Yesterday I was out with my dad who is in rehab after some terrible weeks in the hospital.  It was his 87th birthday.  He was in good spirits and I got him laughing hard.  Last night, as my "little" brother and I were driving to and from all the family gatherings, we had the radio blasting The Pretenders, The Clash, Talking Heads and Blondie --- all music from the time we lived in Cambridge and had wild dance parties --- memories poured forth, but we were also having a moment, right then, that will stay with me forever.

Morning with my nephews. Asterix and origami and discussions of hieroglyphics and Dr Who. This photo is for me to remember always.

This morning I sat with my nephews -- I can be totally partial and tell you they are the most f*cking adorable kids ever--- sitting on my lap, feeding me cheerios, reading Asterix, making up secret codes only we know, and teaching me to dance to "What the Fox Says."

What this fox knows is:  it's all okay.  Whatever you are going through, however you have been hurt or misunderstood, robbed, betrayed, lost, sick, broken -- whatever you are going through--- that's what you have to remember.  You are GOING THROUGH it.

You will come out the other side.  There is meaning to it all.  And you will experience more light, more joy -- more peace and ease in your heart.

I promise.

image

bisous, e

32 comments:

  1. i love this. i feel the peace in your words and i am letting them flow over me. xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh yes, PEACE is the feeling. THAT is what I want in my heart and this post came out of disruption of peace and helped me find my way back. SO glad it spoke to you, too!! xoox e

      Delete
  2. Beautifully written. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh Toni-- you are SO welcome. I am so honored you came by! xooxxo, e

      Delete
  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you for sharing these words at the exact moment I needed them.

    xoxo

    PS Are those hexaflexagons? :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hi Kathleen!! isn't it so funny how we can think we are alone and yet, we are having the SAME issues, the same needs for grounding into our truth, into our hearts . . . you are SO not alone-- wild. and, I am not sure if those are hexaflagons cause the boys were making them and I was drinking coffee to wake up-- ha ha

      Delete
  5. ♥ Thank you for writing this; it is beautiful and wise.
    On a completely different note, I think you should try reading tarot, if you don't already. All this talk of intuition and starting out as a fool and journeys... that is all so, so tarot. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh Dayna-- that is SO funny you should write that as I DO read cards but have avoided doing so for years and then when I was at the retreat in the UK in October-- I was asked to read everyone's cards and I did and it was so great I am thinking of doing some more of it. I love that you stopped by-- THANK you for your kind and sweet comments! xoox, e

      Delete
  6. Awaiting with patience I do hope for this.

    I love how we flux from heartfelt moments to outright hilariousness with the fox. Now that's the way to live!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Patience is DEFINITELY my word right now-- it truly is-- sinking into the now, being IN this moment and not wishing it away for a better, different moment in the future . .. . still working on that one. and yes-- the flux is what it's all about-- and finding a way to release into the ride of that river . . .. xoxo

      Delete
  7. Oh crumbs. This post couldn't have come at a better time for me, given the post I wrote myself this morning :-\ Thank you. I've been mired in that looking back/regret place so long I think I've lost the map to get the hell out.

    But anyway. I love to think of you with your family... Your dad, your brother, your nephews. Warm fuzzy feelings have travelled from Philadelphia to Scotland!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you for the LOVE wishes-- it was a really wonderful visit with my family all around--- and am now rushing over to read your post!! I totally know that tendency to look back and be hooked into the past-- but am practicing a new way of being where if I catch myself doing that I bring my thoughts back to the present . . . it's a process for sure-- LOVE you my Christmas Angel!!! xoox, e

      Delete
  8. Life may be hard, but you make it look so easy! Lots of love!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh Anne---- you are so sweet--- I know that I work hard to focus on joy as odd as that sounds-- but it does take a rewiring and reprogramming of sorts to let go of the negative and the people who want to pull you into their dramas and stay in the best moment of YOUR life that you can--- and I will tell you, the more I do it, the easier it gets . .. . like anything-- xoxoxo, e

      Delete
  9. I love that ray of light in the first photo. It's the kind of light I feel radiate from you as a friend. It's the golden light infused through the good things you do, the projects that spring forth from your heart. I know what you're saying, and I thank you for these words. Love you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love that you can read between the lines and know the whole story!!! ha! Good friends are the greatest gift, for sure. And I am so lucky to have you as my friend!!!! side note-- I was in Wayne PA this morning and I kept feeling like YOU should be there-- ha ha hah

      Delete
  10. know you from nothing. but i love you. your realness. it is why i come. diane

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Diane-- I LOVE you, too!!! we are connected--- we are kindred. I am sending you light and space into your heart right now that you may feel YOUR spirit shining!! xoxoox, e

      Delete
  11. Thank you for writing this as today was a day full of hard truths, sadness and just tough f-ing crap- heartbreaking serious stuff. We will get through it. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh Eileen!!!! damn. I am SO sorry-- so sorry. That does not feel good-- in this moment it is morning here. Sunlight is pouring through and I am sending warm, light, soft energy to your heart that you may feel EASE from those energies .. . you WILL get through it-- sending love love love-- e

      Delete
  12. Thank you for all that you wrote...I soaked all of it up like a thirsty sponge and I am soft again, for a short while anyway. All the "looking back", "what ever you are going through", and "You will come out the other side." ...all affirming words, all soul, all needed today. Grateful for your shared wisdom...Enjoy you time with family!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *sigh* oh Carol-- I am so so so glad to know this-- my heart is lighter knowing this eased you if even for a a few soft moments --- xoxoxoox,e

      Delete
  13. I'd been in that looking back lace for so long that I almost forgot how to move forward. Such regret and grief.
    Something has recently caught fire though, and a low-glowing ember is beginning to spark. I often find a little bit of light showing me the path forward here! Thank you!
    Diane Maria

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hi Diane! I didn't see your lovely comment until now--- oh I love that an ember has caught spark and I do hope it burns brightly in 2014! xo, e

      Delete
  14. Yes. Pure truth. I love to hear about your family and I am glad to hear that your dad is laughing with you. Having aging parents is a hard journey. xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete

thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me-- I love that you stopped by and hope something I shared was what you needed today. xo, e