Thursday, January 23

it's not what you think

bench_river-jan15

A few weeks back, lovely Sas asked if I would share a bit about something that I am letting go* of this coming super moon January 30th. (*see below how YOU can join us!)

Since that email-- my thoughts have circled on this upcoming ritual.  On the one hand, I purge objects from my home with frequency and a rather frightening lack of sentimentality.

A dress I haven't worn in a year?  Gone.
Pretty magazines that gather dust?  Into the trash.
Journals threatening to take over the bookcase -- boxed and crated in the basement.
And yet . . .

Yet.  Every window sill in this apartment is littered with seashells.  People, go ahead -- open any drawer, look behind any cabinet and you will find bowls, tubs and ceramic planters filled with rocks and stones.

ROCKS & STONES.

The hell?  We are not talking rubies, diamonds and emeralds.  Ordinary rocks and stones.

I'm shaking my head as I type to you because I have no explanation.  Except to say, the heart wants what it wants . .  but back to the subject at hand -- letting go.

We interrupt this winding reverie with a burst of ##*$&%FFing hell directed at Flickr and Instagram that has released an update that won't allow uploads (it's not just me, I googled it) and so the photos I was going to share are not available to me.  

There is the inevitable clench of frustration, irritation ARRGHGHGHGHHG.  And then?

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DAISY:  You look perturbed.  Chill out.  This is a cute photo of me.  Sure, it's not recent, but use it anyway.  Go on.  What's the big deal, woman?

Thanks to the intervention of philosophical dogs . . .

I witness it.  I let go of what I thought I was going to do in this moment.  I open to what is actually happening in this moment.  I flow.  I release.  I relax.

And?  I expect that things will be even BETTER this way.  Better than what I could have planned or envisioned for you.

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Aquinnah, December 2013

And that, my friends, is what I came in to share with you.  What I am letting go of, what I am continually letting go of:  resistance.

Perhaps it is due to the fact that I am moving into the second half of my life and my rising sign (which 'they say' is the growing influence in the second half of your life) is Pisces -- the fish.

I am all about the flow, the loose, the giving over, the release.  If I feel resistance, I immediately let go.  Whatever is going on --  if it's not going as I planned, expected, wanted . . .  the moment I feel myself getting tight, bothered, and pushing back against what is -- I catch that old response and let it go.  Poof.

Sure.  Some moments are easier than others.  It's a practice like anything else.  I practice in the small moments so I have more experience to draw upon in the big, heated moments.  And the weird truth is, the more I let go, the more the things that I want most flow into my life.

(Everyone. All together now.  GROUP EYE ROLL PLEASE! )

Think about it.  If you have ever lifted weights for exercise then you know.  The more weight you press against or lift-- your muscles grow-- resistance makes things bigger.  So whatever it is you are pushing against, you are making it more of an obstacle, not less.  Odd, I know-- but try it--- it's really true.

Or, it has been true for me.

Which is not to say life isn't full of challenges, and obstacles.  Hell, the second you put a dream in motion, here come all the hurdles you're gonna have to clear.  I don't fight them anymore (see:  old age) -- I receive them for what they are:  grit that gives the pearl something to form around.

As anyone who has traveled along with me for any amount of time knows, once upon a time I was plagued with depression.  This is no longer the case.  I experience such intensity of pleasure in my daily life even I roll my eyes at myself sometimes --- but I can still remember what the misery of that experience of life felt like and so when I came across this passage recently it really jumped out.  I share it with you as it puts into other words what I am trying to express.

"Some people have avoided so many experiences that their ability to feel
becomes compromised or deadened.  They become numb to the world and
depressed about life.  They feel separated and isolated from others.  
Their resistance to past experiences is so strong that they live 
behind impenetrable walls, hoping one day to be rescued."

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Aquinnah, December 2013

Peaceful  ::  Graceful  ::  Loving ::  Strong

These are my words right now.  When things get pinch-y, I let go and simply start saying these words over and over until I look up and my little raft is out from behind the branches where it was caught in an eddy and I am rolling, once again down the river.

Merrily, merrily, oh blah dee . .

So, Sas -- that is what I am letting go of:  Resistance. 

I am cooked spaghetti, gummy worms, silly putty  --- a field of wildflowers that bends with the wind like fragile ballet dancers dipping down, then up again.

You can call me Gumby.

bisous, e


*This post is part of the Let it Go Project: a collection of stories leading up to a beautiful releasing ritual, hosted by Sas Petherick on the 30th of January. All the details for this free event are here. And you can take part! Be inspired by other posts in this project, and share what you are ready to let of of on the Let it Go Project Community Page! letitgo_badge





26 comments:

  1. you must be an aquarian. it's no wonder i love you so much. btw, rocks and stones, me too. carry them back with me everywhere i go...

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    1. totally an Aquarian!!! we are AIR SISTERS! I love knowing you do the same thing . .

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  2. Good heavens. The rocks and stones thing? I have that, and so did my mother. She REALLY had it! Her garden..!

    I started letting go of my rocks and stones thing a few years ago because although they were all pretty (of course!), my memory is so bad that I kept forgetting where I'd picked each item up! And not remembering which one came from where dulled their importance and individuality somehow. So I just photograph them now when I see them. And the photos sit uselessly and pointlessly in a dusty digital archive.

    I'm going to stop doing this now though. It's silly. I shall treat them like wild flowers - enjoy hugely the moment of seeing them, then move on. One less thing to be encumbered by.

    You DO inspire, lovely lady! Thank you.

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    1. oh, don't stop-- I think it is so cool that so many of us do this .. . it's wild . .. of course it must be managed and some must be let go to make room for the NEW stones to come . .hee

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  3. Wow. Letting go of resistance. Amazing. But THAT is not surprising, YOU are amazing! I love Rita's comment because she is spot on: This is enchanting. (What a great word!) (It is perfect!) Sending love your way! xoxoxo

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    1. I think a lunch date-- or tea at Duck and Bunny (in Providence) with you and RITA would be SO MUCH FUN!! xoxo, e

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  4. And here I thought I was the only one. I have jars and baskets of rocks all over the house, a bubble gum machine full of them at the cottage. Rocks in my pockets in my bags, I swear they jump into my pockets on their own because I sure as hell don't remember picking them up...

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    1. storing them in a bubble gum machine is positively brilliant!! love that idea so much!!

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  5. When we vacationed in Cali. a few years ago, I mailed a whole box of rocks back home. Cost me $15.00.

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    1. oh I like your value system!! you are such a soul sister . . .xooxox

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  6. Ah the mere thought of it is pure heaven, I am on a raft drifting along, sunshine overhead, birdsong and a gentle breeze in the trees as the soundtrack xxx

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    1. there it is-- floating, drifting, letting the current carry us! (and our cocktail with the umbrella on it! :)

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  7. Wisdom. It's a beautiful part of living longer. Thank you for sharing. I'm loosening up, starting now.

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    1. so so true. no one tells you how GOOD it feels to have this life wisdom, how it softens the edges so very much--- I love that you stopped by Denise!! xoxo, e

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  8. Yep, TOTALLY needed this right now. Am currently floundering under a mountain of to-do lists ahead of a Very Big Change and lo there have been many pinch-y moments that I have butted my head against, but, this:

    "I am all about the flow, the loose, the giving over, the release. If I feel resistance, I immediately let go. Whatever is going on -- if it's not going as I planned, expected, wanted . . . the moment I feel myself getting tight, bothered, and pushing back against what is -- I catch that old response and let it go. Poof."

    Is a damn good reminder to let all the damn things go (figuratively, literally, metaphysically, etc.).

    Thank you, my dear.
    XXx

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    1. oh you are SO welcome!! and I am sending you big big big love for ease and light in the days and weeks ahead in all you are contending with-- xooxox

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  9. So true about resistance. As an earth sign, I need water signs to help me soften my rigid structure. Pine cones and acorns are my thing. I once shipped several pine cones, each 6 inches long, from North Carolina because I knew they would 't fit in my suitcase. Fabulous acorns at Rockywold on Squam Lake!

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    1. oh Stacey! I am just seeing this comment now-- LOVE your love of acorns-- I think acorns are AMAZING you can contemplate on their little hats for hours . . I can anyway-- pure magic! xoxo

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  10. Dear Elizabeth.....so inspired by you! I have been stalking all your sites, you are a very busy lady! and yes I too have the rocks and stones thang going on. I think my daughter inherited it too:D When she was little and we lived in Wyoming, one of my many lifetimes ago in this one, we would roam the high desert in search of stones, rocks, arrow heads and sharks teeth. But my fave is always sea shells....
    I'm with ya on finally getting to the wisdom of life and softening of those edges...
    xxooo to you..

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    1. oh LATIFA!! so sorry I didn't see this comment earlier-- I am delighted to find it and to have this connection with you--- oh yes! stones, rocks, arrow heads--- an arrow head is a TRUE find for sure! xoox,e

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  11. Loved this post! I have a growing collection of heart rocks myself (among other rocks and shells). I enjoy following you on Instagram, reliving my Providence days with some of your images. I was inspired to post on Sas's let it go site. Felt good to put some thoughts down and release. Thanks for your authenticity. Hope to see you at Squam sometime when my little ones are bigger.

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    1. hello Jeanine!!! I am so honored that you stopped by--- my apologies for not seeing your lovely comment sooner---- that WAS fun at Sas's wasn't it to give some focus to some release--- I loved being a part of it and so glad you did too--- it would be dreamy to meet you at Squam sometime but meanwhile so glad we can connect through the internet! xox,e

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thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me-- I love that you stopped by and hope something I shared was what you needed today. xo, e