Tuesday, April 7

move along, nothing to see here



I could write something sweet right now. How the soft heat of the radiator is the perfect antidote to the raw, gray cold outside. How working from home is rather dreamy when you don't have to put on a coat, hat and boots to head to the office.

Or, how positively healing cooking feels on a day when rain pelts against the windows.

The problem is, if I did write anything remotely focused on anything but how flat and challenging things feel right now, Daisy would likely jump in with a comment of her own.


DAISY:  I call bullshit on your Pollyanna ass.

Alrighty then.  Gray, flat and weary it is!


If only I could share some of the warmth and light happening in the April Love gathering with Daisy, but since she'd much prefer a belly rub or a biscuit, I'll share with you instead.

Each morning this week I have received the most wonderful, thoughtful, nurturing email.


Somehow, each one had exactly what I needed. For example here is an excerpt from this morning's share which was so healing to me for the resonance I felt to Jo's words.

Never before have I put it just like this, but yes, voila a total 'me too' moment.

For this introvert, time alone actually means
time away from other humans. 

Away from having to externalise my thoughts and feelings in words. 
I find speech incredibly tiring* 
even though I can talk the hind leg off a donkey some days. 

My dogs need only body language and
the odd grunt from me to tune in with my mood.
Often we head to the woods because it’s
there that I really heal. Where I find the
peace and silent communion I need.

Jo Hanlon-Moore

(*emphasis mine)

Other happy discoveries of late:  one of my very best super powers?

Turning off my phone.

Yea, verily! I was delighted to realize that not only can I turn off my phone and ringer each night-- many mornings I forget entirely to turn it back on. Sure, some might find this to be problematic (sorry Mr. Plumber! sorry Texting Friends!) but there's always email, right?

So, yeah. Weary. Weariness. Weary of weariness. Blah. How lucky am I to have such troubles?

I won't reach for anything to mask it or drive it away-- it's gray, I'm flat and so it is.

I intend to continue to simply sit with it in full knowledge of what's ahead.


You know, someday.

bisous, e

16 comments:

  1. this weekend. the sun is coming this weekend.

    meanwhile I'm looking up legends and dieties about the emergence of spring, ... this after taking a stroll through the flowers at the local garden center.

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    1. legends! I LOVE that word-- just that word alone brings me magic, mystery and story. LOVE XOXOOX

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  2. I totally get that sentiment from the stink-eye Daisy's giving. :-)

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    1. ha ha! she is SOooooo sweet and adorable and also totally tired of me dragging ass :)

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  3. I answered every "How are you?" today with, "I need some sun." Gray, rain, BLAH. I tried to encourage warmth by wearing flip-flops and a summer skirt to work today. I got cold toes out of the deal. But cute magenta cold toes, so there's that. I love Daisy. She is so badass. And she knows it. Sending you some pep, if you send some back my way! xoxoxoxoxooooooxxxxxxx

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    1. Cute magenta cold toes! I will go get my toes painted magenta this week and send you PEP right back! XOXOXO, e

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  4. Daisy never lets you get away with anything, does she? haha!

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    1. nope, not a once! but in all fairness to her, SHE is the one who wakes me gently each morning-- she is my true angel and actually loves going outside. I am totally not being truthful when I show her as anything but sweet as pie. It's just that SOMEBODY has to call bullshit on me, right? XOXOX

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  5. I'm calling bullshit on my own Pollyanna ass. You go Daisy... all us girls need a little truth check every once in a while. Your not there alone Miss e, the grey, flat and weary has got me too. Different season, but same galactic shiftin'. Breathe and paddle the wave sista... we'll be surfin' the tube again before ya know it. Sit in it, feel it, live it. I'm renown for ignoring my phone, some days are more peaceful that way. Shaman visit for me tomorrow... BRING IT ON! xoxox

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  6. Shaman visit!!! oh YES-- you are so on it-- I am so inspired by you and how you navigate it all. XOXOXOOXOX

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  7. Oh Daisy...I just want to snuggle her!! I love her sweet face! There's just something about a "Daisy." Both my first dog and first cat were named Daisy--I know, but not at the same time--and they were just the sweetest, smartest, most soulful fur babies ever. Can't wait to meet your Daisy!

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    1. yes yes-- she is my whole heart-- most perfect dog ever-- the name she had when I got her was Zia -- which means Auntie, I think? I always loved that in the center of her name-- my little auntie taking care of me-- which she so totally does. xoox, e

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  8. I have a feeling that pretty face of Daisy's is her secret tactic to getting us to let down our guard so she can bop us over the head when we need it. ;)

    This came across my path the other day, and well, bopped me over the head, as I too am sitting in this agitated in stillness, expectant and empty place...

    Honor the space between no longer and not yet.

    Ok then. Message recieved.

    Hugs to you. It is reassuring that we are all connected and I am not the only one feeling a little bat shit crazy. ;)

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    1. oh darling girl-- you are SO not alone-- but wait, isn't it all roses and magnolias in Portland?!! let's skype soon-- yes? XOXOOX

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    2. Oh yes please! I am glad to hear you got much needed rejuvenation in Florida, but I missed my email! A Skype session sounds perfect.

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thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me-- I love that you stopped by and hope something I shared was what you needed today. xo, e