Tuesday, November 17

give yourself a gold star

paris, may 2013

Today, and the next few ahead, I am showing up here because I want to fulfill this commitment to post every day in the month of November. Setting goals, staying the course, pushing through when it would be so easy to walk away with a shrug and say, who cares, why bother -- it really isn't so much the actual value or purpose of blogging (dear lord, you know me better than that by now) it's the act of commitment, of follow through -- of staying the course.

It really doesn't matter what you commit yourself to - it is the act of practicing discipline that matters.
That's where the bounty lies.

I'm pretty sure I could find a quote from Krishna saying this to Arjuna - but, given my copy of the Gita is upstairs and I have exactly 4 minutes left to type here -- let me get back to you on that. In fact, it was last Spring when I was deep in the reading for my yoga teacher training that I really understood this for the first time, ever.


I have always been one to walk away when things get difficult. My reasoning based in some kind of belief system where conflict is not good, driving/striving can be incredibly unhealthy and you should only do what you want.

But let's be clear. That internal code developed when I was an adolescent in a world that bewildered me. It was definitely a self-protective measure. You can't lose a race if you don't run it.

Like anything in life, competition has two sides. I grew up seeing and experiencing the shadow side of competition and so rejected it outright.

I am only now finding my way back to how actually signing on to push myself beyond what's comfortable can have the most wonderful results. Of course, it can also really suck.

                                                                           detail from "I will rise from the sorrow" March 2013


But if you keep showing up, eventually, things shift.

You know, eventually.


Yesterday the dogs got all their shots for the year and their vet check-up.

In the big picture of dog health, they are doing really well, but both are going blind and their hips are getting stiff and painful for them. Change is ahead. I know this. Painful change. And I am not ready.

I want things to be gentle and easy - without struggle and strain, Without heartbreak and grief.

And that is not life. That is not what we all signed up for.

So, if things are feeling sweet and comfortable for you this morning, I encourage you to sink even more deeply into that gorgeous state of being.

And, if things are feeling pinchy, hard, sad or confusing for you this morning, I offer you a hug and a promise that you can get through it.

That some days, it's enough to show up.

Gerri giving me one of her fabulous mama bear hugs 

bisous, elizabeth

15 comments:

  1. Elizabeth, I feel a kindred connection with you through this post. I have been discovering this layer of life in the last few years, learning to walk through the rough terrain to get to the good stuff, to appreciate the good stuff. I've also learned that some days, showing up is enough. Big hugs to you, my friend.

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  2. I've been thinking that both Ollie and Daisy were looking awfully white around the muzzle lately and I am not ready either. Going blind, though! :( Sadness. I am very glad that you are showing up here every day. It's motivating and inspiring and it is a true day brightener. XOXO

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    1. ohh you KNOW these babies--- the blindness is SO hard. thanks for showing up with me! it just isn't blogging without YOU<---!

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  3. Oh, no. I am sorry that your babes are beginning to show age. I am glad that they are doing well, but blindness IS so hard. Our first baby, Ralphie had that for a long time. And the mobility issues as well. Dogs are so special, I hate when they age.

    Showing up. Yes. That is what keeps on keeping on. Sometimes staying in bed is the desire, but so far I have won those battles. I am sending you a big hug as well. And lots of love too.

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    1. XOXXOOXOX what do you mean SOMETIMES?!! I always want to stay in bed . . . love. my. bed. :)

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  4. Hi dear Elizabeth, thank you for committing to showing up daily for this month, I am so enjoying reading your daily thoughts and the connection here.
    How difficult the ageing process is to witness in those we love.
    Yours and Gerris hug looks wonderful, such genuine heartfelt love being exchanged, it brings a smile to my face, sending more hugs your way Xoxo

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    1. yes indeed-- Gerri is a worldclass hugger and that was a good one for sure. XOXOOX

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  5. Oh man... so much to say, so many thoughts and yet I just want to nod my head, offer a shrug, a meek smile and two skinny outstretched arms! Do you remember those words I wrote to you long ago... they were something about me knowing I had agreed to my journey but was a little bit pissed with myself for thinking that was a good idea... Life! Every single bit of it is so damn beautiful and I really believe it is in the heartbreak and grief that we do the best of our learning. It bl**dy sucks though, eh!?!
    By the way... I LOVE that painting! xoxoxo

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    1. do I remember? darling, it's how I knew we shared a brain-- I never asked you but are you an Aquarius by any chance?

      and yes, it BLODDY sucks. :)

      and thanks for loving my painting-- it's one of my faves mostly for sentimental reasons

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    2. My sun sign is Capricorn and I REALLY need to investigate what my moon sign is! I've been told that our moon sign is who we are within our heart and our sun is the sign that influences our mind. Wouldn't surprise me one little bit if my moon was Aquarius xoxoxox

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  6. Yes to all of this. I have recently started showing up with intention vs taking the cut and run route and it is hard, and... there is much bounty!

    Gorgeous painting. I could feel it even through the screen.

    Daisy and Oliver are the luckiest pooches (and you're pretty lucky to have them too). We lost two my husband and I had loved our entire adult life over 3 years ago and I still miss them all the time, my son who was not even two does as well. He still talks about them all the time. I guess the point here is, they stay with us even when they're not.

    Big love!!!

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  7. Showing up, yes, even through the dark stuff. This is something that my cancer taught me. Show up, work through, allow yourself to feel every emotion, every tear we shed contains the power to heal. We become stronger that way (I know I did)...

    I love your painting, it speaks volumes.

    With love,
    Grace

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  8. Oh, golly! I'll take that hug, it's needed. Your encouragement is exactly what my spirit needs now. Awhile back I wrote to you about upcoming change in my life and whoa! boy it changed, and then took a whole other turn and changed again. Yes, painful change and at the same time there is a whispering of what good is to come. I don't know or have any premonition of what is to come, so I hold on to trusting. Experiencing emotions I never thought I'd have to deal with I'm finding a grace in the moments that are the simplest, a good meal, a smile from a stranger, the beauty all around, a snuggle with my cat, who is 19, light as a feather and frail. So very, very frail now that I too know what is to come, but not now, not soon, I hope. I hold her now and count these days as good. I let her whiskers tickle my cheek (even though it keeps me awake and is bothersome) just because she has to do that for whatever reason, always snugging close, her face near mine, whiskers tickling. I have a permanent kink in my neck turning away when it becomes too much. Big hugs to you and luvs to the pups!

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thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me-- I love that you stopped by and hope something I shared was what you needed today. xo, e