Sunday, November 29

you are what you love, not what loves you


Above is my first try at embroidery that I played around with at Squam Studio in October. Thanks to Tracey for being my guide - I got to experiment with something I have always wanted to do with no pressure for it to be good, or right or anywhere near planet Perfect.

I just had fun.

It was play just for play and I can't honestly tell you how long it took for me to do this because when I was doing it, my mind had dropped off into that happy no-time, no-space place.

Having fun making something I will never use, never give away as a gift, never sell and never do anything with - came to mind a few hours ago when I watched this video below:



Really good stuff. Not that I don't know this already-- the whole, gotta go within to connect with YOU and then you will feel better thing?  I had just shared that myself last week. But the thing is, as anyone who has ever faced changing a bad habit or addiction can tell you -- KNOWING something intellectually (such as, "I really shouldn't be eating an entire tray of brownies since it will make me feel sick and is not in alignment with my true goals") has little to no bearing on whether or not you can actually do what your mind wants you to do.

Your sub-conscious programs will TRUMP your intellect every. single. time.

If on a sub-conscious level, you believe that eating brownies is going to COMFORT you, you will eat them.

There is only one source of genuine comfort - and that is love. However, if you do not love yourself, you are in kind of a bind -- as to make true change happen, you have to begin with offering yourself love and compassion. (GREAT resource here on this idea).

Not someone else, yourself.

And, if offering yourself love and compassion seems impossible - because really, how totally not perfect are you<--- right? -- then you need to begin there and examine why it is that for the love to matter to you, it has to come from someone else.

We just are not taught to love ourselves unconditionally. Hence, the horrors of the world. Because when you DO love yourself, you simply cannot be unkind or lacking in compassion for another. It's simply not possible.

One of my most favorite ever Byron Katie videos is below. It really shows how twisted our minds can get and how to meet our minds with love, gentleness and compassion for how they got mixed up.



Tomorrow I end this blogging adventure. It's been awesome and I have LOVED reconnecting with so many of you.

If you have questions for me that you'd like me to answer-- put them in the comments and I will do my best.

Sending you BIG love!!!

bisous, Elizbaeth

23 comments:

  1. Dear Elizabeth - You don't know me; I discovered Squam a few years ago and completely admire what you've started. I hope someday to attend. Loved reading your November blog, love your daily photos and how joyful you appear to be. Thanks so much for putting yourself out into the world!

    Heidi

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    1. thank you Heidi!!! so happy to meet you here-- thanks for letting me know you are here and for such kind and warm feedback-- I really appreciate it!! XOXO

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  2. That video is amazing. Well, both of them...are amazing.

    I am sad that you won't be blogging anymore. You feed my soul. You do. Sending you BIG LOVE right back. xoxoxox

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    1. I may be blogging-- we'll see-- just not with a commitment over my head . .. :)

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  3. Oh man! It's been so good reading you, love. FINALLY catching up on all your posts. Gold, baby, pure gold xox

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    1. all thanks to YOU ma chere cousine!!!! XOXO

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  4. Oh Elizabeth, that Byron Katie video hit me like a ton of bricks. In a good way! I've had a rough couple of weeks, physically and mentally, and I'm sort of grasping at hope. It's unusual for me, because I am very strong, I'm always everyone else's rock. So when I crash I feel so desperate and anxious. This video helped me to see that my perspective is just that, not truth, not fact, just a version of a story I've been telling myself for a very long time. Thank you so much for posting this. It helped me immensely. xoxo

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    1. oh Chris-- I SO hear you. I SO understand that terrible crushing paralysis when you are unable to receive help or acknowledgement since YOU are the one who always takes care of everyone else. And, the desperation, hopelessness that washes over you as you are angry or frustrated with your weakness, your failings your lack of being better . . etc etc etc. BLAH that just SUCKS. It SUCKS so big time. and I am really truly sorry you have been going through this--- not sure if it helps at all but I think there's some kind of whammy going on in the planets, too--- Saturn/Pluto square which is wreaking havoc with quite a few of us. Sometimes these big dips are what precede good forward movement-- so be kind to yourself through it all and give yourself ALL the space you need to go low and bew quiet and rock bottom. Let yourself be at rock bottom without judging it. Just breathe there until you feel like moving to another space. Go gently gently gently. SO glad the BK helped. Byron Katie's work changed everything for me-- that was the TRUE freedom -- was learning how to do inquiry. SO glad it brough you some relief. Sending you BIG love XOOXX, e

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  5. P.S. Have I missed your donkey story? x

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    1. oooops! nope. Okay--- maybe that will be what I write about tomorrow . .. . :)

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  6. Hi dear Elizabeth, love the first videos message, looking inward to the childlike creativity that lives inside me, she who joyfully comes out to play. I'm so happy you got to play with no pressure too, it truly is freeing to be in the moment, where nothing else matters except seeing your creation grow xoxo

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    1. you are LIVING this---- !!! such a great example to us all. xo

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  7. Hi Elizabeth, Weirdly, this post feels like it is talking directly to me. Your statement about change being able to happen when one offers themselves love and compassion makes so much sense and you have talked about this before. It is that scary dark place that I am in right now that is not allowing me to see any good about myself - let alone love myself. This is a horrendously difficult struggle that i hope one day I can conquer.

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    1. go easy. one moment to another---- don't punish yourself in the proces :) just be a gentle witness-- notice when you are unkind and simply ask if you would talk to your dearest friend or beloved that same way? that's all-- just bring in some gentle space for witnessing--- release all need for aggression to change it right away-- just gentle gentle gentle with compassion-- XOXO

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  8. have loved landing here and reading your words...i am hoping blogs continue. i find it a struggle too - the written word falling shorter and shorter to a blurb. but there are few blogs i have loved coming back to and gleaned so much from, yours being one. thank you so much for what you shared! now off to check out those videos. warmly

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    1. THANK you Suzanne!!! That means so very much to me. I am so grateful for your words--- XOXOOXOOXXO

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  9. I couldn't watch the video Elizabeth. .. but your words made me feel warm and welcome. I love you and how you write so much - you are the reason that I started writing and writing I must. And yes yes yes to your words. I'm so struggling with feeling the safety I never had as a child. I feel robbed of my safety I so would have needed to learn to be me and love myself. I feel so utterly unsafe. And I don't give up. I recognise. I try not to judge my feelings. I keep reaching out and this I will keep up. And I'll write on.
    Elizabeth. Thank you.

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    1. yes yes yes -- it is ALL about reaching out and letting others help support and nurture you until you are strong enough to nurture yourself and then? You get to turn and offer love and support to the next person coming along the path who needs your wisdom and love. XOXOOXOXOXOX

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  10. Wow. I really needed this. Lately I've been thinking a lot about LOVE and FEAR - how some areas of my life are effortlessly love-filled, while others are marinated in fear - and how I can gently turn those around. Also struggling with self care, wondering why it's so hard to rest.

    I will get to Squam one day. (I'm knitsurf, who shared the story of the spoons on Ravelry). This year is too uncertain for me to commit to registering. But someday... YES!

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  11. Just when I need it the most, wham! you deliver. These are the things I need to hear to get me out of my own valley. One too many things going on now and I do find strength in your messages. Elizabeth, you are motivational with the most gentle yet powerful spirit. Thank you BIG TIME! p.s. my cat is on the fringe of life so I'm throwing this out there to community and universe, let her enter where she needs to go, peacefully and soon. She is fighting it and hanging on, although I've let her know it is going to be really good.

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    1. oh Sherry-- I HEAR yo uabout your beloved cat-- I feel this, I do. And THANK you for such incredibly kind words and feedback== that means SO much to me!! XOXOXO

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    2. Thank you! She had candles around her, warmed towels cradling, I hummed out of tune songs, petted and petted her and now she is free in peace sent with a ton of love.

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  12. Rest assured, she is not suffering. Just rooting for the place she needs to be. She wants outside, which I can't blame her, but I have too much wildlife around that would not make a peaceful departure.

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thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me-- I love that you stopped by and hope something I shared was what you needed today. xo, e