Thursday, September 22

just keep me where the light is

oh Mindy!*

Can you feel that?  Mercury goes direct today and all I can say is HALL-LE-FFF-ING-LU-YAH!

(I'm sure that's sacrilege in some camps, but not mine -- my god has a great sense of humor and curses like a fishwife.)

This morning I woke up and everything felt softer, easier -- there was even a crispness in the air that felt mighty fresh and new. The dogs and I headed up to the farm and walked the fields for a good hour plus. 

The pond was super low -- like five feet lower than normal-- due to the long, hot summer we have had, but there were two groups of high school girls running long miles around us for track practice and watching them in the sunlight was pure poetry. (of course Ollie very much wanted to run with them but he behaved himself and practiced restraint)

Their focus was simple. They ran in groups of four. There was just something about watching them run up and down hills -- through the fields that fills my heart. Maybe because I logged no few long runs when I was in high school, maybe because I loved the opening scene of Daniel Day-Lewis in Last of the Mohicans (not the killing of the deer, obvs-- but the running), maybe just because it's an expression of our physical selves that I find beautiful.

We came home. I put breakfast down for the pups and then, just as I was reaching into the fridge for some almond milk for my coffee I stopped -- for the zillionth time-- and let my grounding words sink in to my heart, my consciousness, my breath.

(do you not love that my dentists are "light and comfort" I mean, seriously, on what planet!)

regarde autour maintenant

ton reve de 
beaute lumiere passion et douceur
est dans ce paradis

I have no idea if they actually mean anything in French, or not. And, as you can imagine, I don't care -- they have meaning for me.

In June 2010, when my marriage ended, I moved to a farm 20 minutes away from the house above Squam lake where I'd been living the five years previously. 

The farm was my total sanctuary and I still dream about it. 
I carry it's energy and spirit in my heart always.

Of course, I was a bit raw, fragile and all sorts of out of sorts that Spring. To my total surprise, a package arrived out of the blue -- a how-to-start-a-new-life care package from my sweet friend Jeanine. It was honestly one of the most loving, thoughtful gifts I have ever received not least because it was completely unexpected.

There were all sorts of things in it-- a long letter, bottle of wine, some funny things, some serious things and amid the abondanza was a box of French magnetic words.

Yes, those bits on the fridge above have been with me since the day I opened that package. I wrote what I wanted to bring into being and wow, yet more proof that this is exactly how it works. Because every single day of my life since sticking those little letters to the fridge -- admittedly a most absurd and silly exercise-- the experience of living deeply from a place of what I call 'sanctuary' has continued to come alive around me.

The first thing I do when moving into a new place -- the very first thing -- is to put those little words onto the fridge.

Anyway, not sure where I was going with that. Above are two snapshots from last week at the lake. A place you know well. A place that you know is a feeling that can't be explained or expressed. 

But I love that I share that with you. I love that I have spent time there with YOU and it is a reference for us -- something we both understand even if we can't put it into words - -not even funny faux French magnetic words.

It has become a tradition that when it is time for me to round-up and condense the week's experience into a recap that I always say, "it was the best one ever."

And, it has never been more true. It was the best one ever. 

Not merely because we had the most crazy perfect off-the-charts gorgeous weather morning to night every. single. day. !!!  -- and not because the people who came were super chill and created a super sweet vibe -- and not because there was such artistry (that QUILT SHOW OMG!!) and wild creativity. And definitely not because I had to take Jenny to the ER for seven stitches after she stabbed herself during the spoon carving class (NOT fun at all-- and yet, we bonded so deeply and are now friends for life that you can't take away the bad without losing the good).

warrior Jenny the leg (her mafia name thanks to Terri Dautcher)
It was the best because I have learned, changed and grown so much that my experience of the world around is just like those silly words on my fridge.

Thanks to YOU<--! I have found my groove teaching again and it is opening whole new worlds to me. 

Below (left) you can see the yoga set up --- the first morning I figured maybe one, possibly two people might show up seeing as it began at the ungodly hour of 6:15 am -- I mean, seriously -- whose crazy idea was THAT? but there were 18 people who showed up that first morning and from that point forward everything kept rolling out in just the most surprising and wildly beautiful ways.

Whew. I should probably wrap this up and just continue my rambles tomorrow. Just know, there are such good, kind, gentle people in the world. Ignore the fear mongering on tv. Ignore the efforts to make us react with hate, anger, judgement and aggression. 

Ground into the truth that there are good, kind, gentle people in the world and if we stay connected with one another -- we can hold steady through the storm.

 bisous, my sweet friend-- more tomorrow . . .

photo by Forrest Elliott
*This month -- 30 days -- I am writing a letter to my dear friend Mindy because I happened on Mindy's post where she honored me to my core -- sharing that she reads my blog (my long, long neglected blog) and it inspired me to promise that for one full month -- 30 days of September-- I would write her a letter each, and every day. Let's see how I do . . . :) 


  1. omg -- Light and Comfort!? Did you do that on purpose? You have that shiz dialed in. I remember reading your days at the retreat, can remember you and your niece painting everything white (second hand, of course as that was long be fore we met), and that sublime pond that was literally like Walden.... light and comfort. That is your vibration. And water. You always bring on the water mojo. Just like at the lake. Oh, Squam -- so many wild-heart stories, so many lessons. So much evolution, which is why I love it so. How do you say that in French? xoxo

  2. on dit (you say) : que je l'aime tant . .. . XOXOXO

  3. This morning, soft light on the maple leaves, the dogs playful-Kimaya wanted to be feisty- and now settled in with chewies, so grateful for connection and community. My tribe here and my tribe scattered, connected through our creativity and love. Hearts are breaking as trees come down next to our community property. Old giants only 3 people can put their arms around and all their smaller brethren. We weep for the animals, the trees and the beauty we were so lucky to live next to. Still I am moving in gratitude-working to stay in the light. Heading to the watercolors. Blessings to you!-Bay

    1. ohhh! I hear you-- that is wrenching! the destruction has to feel visceral-- how wise to drop into the gratitude and beauty and creativity that can hold us through such times-- XOXOOX

  4. everything DOES sound better in French!

  5. Oh, I am so late in reading this, but divine intervention is strong. I have been so swamped...still am...that I feel guilty breathing deep breaths. I did watch the debate last night. And I do want to run away today...not necessarily because of the debate, mostly because of the swamped...see above.

    So I have been ignoring you. And I knew I needed something to help me out of this funk. So here I am. And, this was just what I needed. You always give me permission to be gentle with myself. I needed that today.


    1. always always!! you are PERFECT right now!!! XOOX


thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me-- I love that you stopped by and hope something I shared was what you needed today. xo, e