Monday, July 24

my best girl


Sweetest spirit ever there was, Daisy 
October 2006 - July 2017

Never imagined this blog would become an obituary page, but life is funny that way. I really don't have any other public forum to share beyond the cryptic space of an Instagram post and for those who have loved Daisy-- I want to be able to provide you with closure, too.

Over the last few months, Daisy had been slowing down considerably. I called the vet to see if there was something wrong that could be addressed, but her vitals and thyroid were all in good health-- she was just nearing the end. And, although I knew this day would come-- nothing can buffer you from the abject pain of having to say good-bye to the most loving soul you have ever known on this earth.


Devoted falls short of describing how each and every morning of my life she would come to the side of the bed and patiently wait for me to notice she was there. The gentlest beginning to the day you can imagine. As I type this to you, she is resting -- her breath labored-- at my feet. She would follow me room to room -- always staying close, always vigilant.

When I recorded the first Magic of Myth workshop-- Daisy was never more than a few feet from me. And then, on the last day, when I was saying good-bye, she climbed up on the chair next to me, gave a heavy sigh:  as ever, she embodied all my emotion. 

I share this with you below so you can feel her sweet presence -- and because though at the time I was saying good-bye to the class-- today, I feel I can say the same prayer to her as she leaves me and this world.



In the past 4 days, she has lost all use of her back legs so it is hard for me to comprehend, just five months ago-- she saved me from an intruder attempting to crawl in the second floor window while I was asleep in bed. My fierce protective warrior. She nurtured me at every turn. 

It didn't matter if I had been gone 15 minutes or for a day-- when I returned from being away she would leap to her feet and come racing, tail wagging. Pure love. Pure joy.


The hardest part for me in running Squam all these years was leaving Daisy behind. Her gaze as I was leaving always showed such confusion -- how could I live without her? And it felt to me that every time I left her, a bit of her heart broke. 

There's no way to know, of course-- anything at all about the animal experience of this world, but when Henry died she went into such a deep, profound depression I could see more clearly than ever how connected she was to those she loved.


Her most favorite thing in the world was to go for a walk. It didn't matter if it were mountains, woods, beach or just tooling around the neighborhood. 

She was never more happy than when she was out exploring the world. And without fail, if there were water to be found-- she found it. 


There is not one day, not one-- in all the years we were together that the very first thing she did upon going outside before even taking a pee-- she would drop to the earth, roll onto her back, breathe in deeply of the grass-- or mud or snow-- it did not matter if it was pouring rain-- she greeted the earth in the same manner every. single. day.  


She was the most social, sweet, happy-go-lucky spirit. Always warm and friendly to any dog or person she might meet. 

And she loved nothing more than jumping into the back of the car for a road trip.


Somehow, when I left last week-- her ability to keep on keeping on as her back legs and stamina got weaker and weaker-- just gave out. My friend Camille was here taking care of Daisy and Oliver and when I called to check in and see how they were doing, she had to tell me, not good. Not good at all.

At 3am on Friday night, I left Sedona, AZ (where I was one week into a 2-week arts residency) and drove to Phoenix airport to catch the first flight home. 

I am just in so much pain-- she is the truest love I have ever known in this world. 

I am just going to miss her so much. All I hope is she knows how much I love her. 
And how grateful I am for every minute I got to be with her.


My only comfort right now is imagining that Henry is waiting for her on the other side. 
And, that they will both hang around until Ollie and I show up, too.




peace out, Elizabeth




33 comments:

  1. I am so sorry to hear this, Elizabeth. I remember reading your blog post where you brought her home, all those years ago. I hope you are able to cherish these moments with her, bittersweet as they are. Thank you for this lovely post.

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  2. Sorry to hear this cousin, and I have experienced similar pain at losing close canine companions. What a magical bond between our two species! And the loss is painful to endure. May your suffering be eased.

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  3. Elizabeth, my heart is breaking for you. Such a beautiful tribute to a beautiful spirit. Henry is waiting to show Daisy all the cool trails while they both stay inside your heart forever. Much love.

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  4. Oh sweetheart...what a beautiful soul she was. She was lucky to have you as her momma. Peace, light and love to you. hugs, Heather

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  5. Oh, Elizabeth I'm so very sorry to hear the news. Hoping your sweet memories of time with Daisy bring you joy and comfort always.

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  6. My Dear Elizabeth~ I am holding you in my heart. Please know this. There is nothing quite like the love that we have for your beloved dog companions, this I know for sure. I have no comforting words to offer, for nothing can quell this grief. I do believe though, and with all my heart, that grief is just another version of love, another way for us to feel love and to know love. And I am quite sure that dogs are just that, pure flowing constant love, always inviting us deeper into our hearts. Your Daisy, she was a radiant light in this world (just like you are). I think I shall adopt her morning greeting to the earth, it looks like a marvellous way to start the day. All my love to you dear one, and my deepest gratitude to your Daisy for the courageous and beautiful life that she lived.

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  7. omg... she knows, Elizabeth. and i personally believe that all those that we have ever loved are there to greet us as we journey to the other side with arms wide open, tails wagging. there is great comfort and joyous anticipation in this.
    thank you for sharing such a beautiful tribute to Daisy with us. i'm glad she had you as her human.
    xoxo

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  8. Oh Elizabeth - such a love you share. My heart is breaking for you in this temporary separation. I know how much it hurts. Feel it all, then when you're ready, greet each day the way your girl did. So much love to you and Ollie. Xxx

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  9. Dearest one, my heart aches and breaks with yours. My experience of Daisy on the one chilly Providence afternoon I had the honor of meeting her was exactly what you described: devoted, social, sweet. A deeply beautiful soul. I am sending so much love to you and Ollie and wishing you some peace on the other side of grief. xoxo

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  10. What a beautiful tribute to her beautiful soul. Sending warm, healing thoughts and love your way...xo

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  11. Oh, Elizabeth, so very sorry to hear this heartbreaking news. Weeping for the loss of your most beautiful and precious Daisy. Sending so much love and comfort xxxxx

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  12. I can't even see to type this I'm crying so hard. I love you, I love Daisy. I'm so glad you two got to spend so much time together in her life and yours. You are forever changed because you loved her, may thoughts of her comfort you the way she always has. I love you.

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  13. What a beautiful tribute this post is to your lovely Daisy Elizabeth. Blessings to you both.

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  14. So sorry, never easy. Healing vibes heading your way. 😘

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  15. Elizabeth, I am so sorry to read this news. I sadly understand the pain only too well of the loss of a dear, beloved, soulmate of a dog. I have no words to express my sadness for you, other than we are traveling this sorrowful walk together. My heart and tears are with you. I always enjoyed your photos and videos of your daily walks with Daisy and Olive. A beautiful tribute to you girl. Much love to you.

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  16. Every time I saw the joy that Daisy is, I hugged her in my heart. Every story of her love and companionship, I hugged her in my heart. Every roll in the grass, or playful teasing of Henri and Ollie, I hugged her in my heart. Every walk, wag and jump in the water, I hugged her in my heart. Today I hug her in my heart.

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  17. I love you Auntie Beth! Daisy was the sweetest and I love the image of her and Henry playing together on the other side. We're all here for you. I remember when Kelly passed and I couldn't keep from crying at work. I know that pain and it will pass. Lots of love XOXO

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  18. I'm so sorry! Big hugs to you, Elizabeth!

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  19. Dear sweet wonderful Elizabeth I am holding you in my heart and i am sending you love and light. Xoxoxoxo❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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  20. So sorry to hear about your sweet Daisy. Sending love and hugs to you and Oliver.

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  21. Dear Elizabeth, I am so so sorry to hear this news. Thank you for sharing sweet Daisy with us. I also said goodbye to a beloved friend this year. Too soon. Never ready.

    A friend posted this quote today and I thought of you: "It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enought, all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are."

    All my love ❤️
    -Brandi Marie

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  22. So so sorry to hear this. What an amazing tribute to love...to Daisy. Hugs and stardust

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  23. Elizabeth, I'm so sorry! I remember back in the BP days when you brought her home...there's such a sweet pain when our pets leave us. Thinking of you!

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  24. Oh NO OH!!! O Daisy! I am so sad. Huge hugs to you and Ollie. ����������

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  25. My Dear Elizabeth,
    My heart breaks to hear this news. I loved Daisy right through the screen, and please know--that love seeps through. I am sending love through the screen to you right now. I know Henry is with her, I just know it. I am so sorry for your loss and pain. Sending you hugs and comfort. xo

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  26. Dearest Elizabeth, I am so so sorry. My arms are wrapping around you in a virtual hug.

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  27. Oh Elizabeth, I am so sorry. Henry will take very good care of her. And so long as you remember them, they are never really gone. Sending you love and hugs.

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  28. Elizabeth, I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you at this very difficult time.
    Carolyn

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  29. Dear Elizabeth,
    I am so sorry about Daisy. When I saw this, the title, I dreaded to hear of the news. I've followed you since Squam of 2011 so I know how much she's meant to you. I know the pain of losing such a close part of the family. I hope you know that she knows you've loved her all along just as you know she loved you...and your tribute here is beautiful. Condolences to you and Ollie. I'm sure Henry is eagerly waiting for Daisy to romp in the grass together, once again. I'm sending all my love your way❤️

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  30. Oh no. I'm so sorry. Thinking of you Elizabeth - sending good thoughts.

    ann

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  31. what a beautiful tribute to your beautiful companion. sending love πŸ™❤️

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  32. I am so very sorry. Your love for her was palpable in your writing and photographs. Her gentleness was beautifully captured. Her energy and sweetness came through clearly. She will always be with you and yet the sadness you must be feeling is something else. The greatest love makes space for the equal opposite in grief. Sending you love while you make your way making your peace with saying goodbye to her physical self. She was loved so deeply by you and those you shared her with. Feel like I've known her even through a screen of your stories after all these years.

    Peace and Love! XO

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thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me-- I love that you stopped by and hope something I shared was what you needed today. xo, e